I feel quite honored because Mocha Dad has received two awards this month. The first was the “Charming Blog” award and most recently, I received the “Your Blog is Fabulous” award. I would like to thank Kathy Sena, who blogs at Parent Talk Today, for bestowing the honor upon me.
Like most things in life, this award comes with rules. The recipient of the award must:
Pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs in a post.
List 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
Copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.
Here are my Five Fabulous Addictions:
My wife, K. She is the most beautiful, caring, and fabulous woman I have ever known. I love her so much and I cannot imagine living my life without her.
My kids, Nee, N, and X. Each has a unique personality and I enjoy the daily interactions that we have. My job keeps me on the road for several days each month so I cherish the time I get to spend with them. And they make me laugh with the things that come out of their mouths.
Dark chocolate. Eating dark chocolate is such a sensuous experience. Plus it has health benefits. Studies in two prestigious scientific journals say dark chocolate — but not white chocolate or milk chocolate — is good for you.
The Office. I love this show because it is so real and it is the funniest sitcom on television.
My laptop. It’s not an Apple, but it’ll do until I’m rich enough to afford one. My laptop keeps me connected and informed where ever I am. My wife thinks I spend too much time on my computer and she’s right. I’ll have to start weaning myself off over the next few weeks. Is there a 12 step program for blogging addiction?
To the authors of these Five Fabulous Blogs, I honor you with this award:
The dreaded “Man Cold” has been crippling the male species since time began. The Bible doesn’t go into detail, but I’m convinced that Adam agreed to eat the apple because his judgment was clouded by a “man cold.”
I read the following article on MSN that describes the man cold and gives women some tips on how to treat it.
This “debilitating disease” can be “near fatal,” says the Urban Dictionary. It’s specific to the male species and demands fast attention.
The symptoms are horrible: coughing, sneezing, sore throat, low energy and the telltale man-whine. What’s a girl to do? Yes, it’s up to the opposite sex to save their men from their colds. Let’s go through the drill:
Do not put him in bed. Instead, let him recoup here.
Turn on the TV - fast. Find some sports or cartoons and give him the remote control.
He’ll be too weak to call for you, so make sure to check in on him every three minutes. A little bell is also helpful.
He’ll need an endless supply of tissues, fast food, cookies and lots of tea.
Once he shows signs of improvement (by asking you what you’re doing every 10 minutes), he’s ready for movie therapy. Star Wars, James Bond, or sports related movies work well during this next step in the man cold treatment plan. Note: No matter how much he begs, do not let him watch “Brian’s Song.” In his weakened state, the emotional drain will be too much for him.
If a week has gone by and there’s no improvement, bring out the big guns: have a chick flick marathon consisting of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, Steel Magnolias, and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and if he’s not in the shower after that, tell him you can’t remember if you feed a cold, starve a fever or the reverse, so you’d better ask your mother to come over.
He’ll be back on his feet before you can say, “Do these pants make my butt look big?”
My friend, Teendoc, who blogs at Welcome to the Dollhouse, first diagnosed my man cold a few weeks ago when I was pleading for sympathy on Twitter. My ailing fingers could barely type out the message, but I needed the world to know how miserable I was. Teendoc responded with a link to this video. After I watched it I thought, “Finally, a doctor who understands my misery.” I showed the video to my wife so she could have a better understanding of what I was going through. She went into a tirade about how mothers don’t have the luxury of having a “man cold” because they have to blah, blah, blah. I pulled my blanket over my head because I was way too sick to comprehend her rambling (BTW, this was a bad move).
A week later, I contracted a stomach virus. Instead of displaying sympathy, my daughter looked at my wife and said, “Oh, no. Looks like dad has another man cold. I guess he’ll be in bed all day, again.”
Stay Strong,
Mocha Dad
Question: Who handles illnesses better, men or women?
My wife and I always encourage our children to help others. We model the behavior by serving in our church, volunteering at the homeless shelter, or delivering meals to people who cannot leave their homes. We also like introduce them to other people who make service a priority.
One evening, we invited a missionary to our house to talk to the kids about her experiences in China. They were so excited because they had never met a real life missionary before. My five-year-old son, N, was beside himself with anticipation.
The missionary’s name is Christine and she works for Campus Crusade for Christ. As she shared this information with us, N, interrupted.
“May I ask you a question,” he asked.
“Of course,” she answered.
“Did you vote for Barack Obama?”
“No,” she replied with a surprised look on her face. “I voted for John McCain. Did you vote for Obama?”
He looked at her as if she were crazy and said, “Of course not. I’m too young to vote.”
We took a seat in the living room and Christine proceeded to tell the kids about her work. A few minutes into her talk, she pulled out a book to share some photographs. N interjected again.
“Is this the part where we give you money?”
Christine chuckled and continued with her presentation. N kept interrupting her with questions. It really bothered him that some of the pages in the album did not have photographs on them. N told Christine that she needed to fix that. Meanwhile my daughter, Nee, sat as quietly as a church mouse and only opened her mouth to ask Christine what her favorite color was.
When it was time to actually give her money, N, said, “Wait. I’ve got to get my piggy bank.” He ran upstairs and quickly returned. My wife, K, asked him if he wanted to give her a dollar. He said no.
“Two dollars,” she asked. Again he said, “No.”
“Three dollars?” He thought for a moment then replied. “Yeah that sounds about right.”
Christine felt a bit awkward about taking N’s money, but we assured her that he would have been extremely hurt if she refused. N has a heart full of love and wants to share all he has with everyone.
A few days later, we received two cards from Christine. The smaller card was address to K and me. It was a standard “thank you for contribution” card. The bigger card was for the boy. Christine wrote a treatise on how N’s generosity and curiosity touched her spirit and filled her heart with joy. When I read the part about how his donation bought a Bible for a Chinese child, N’s face beamed with pride.
What started out as a lesson on giving for the children, turned into a lesson in love for the adults.
Stay Strong,
Mocha Dad
Question: How do you teach your children to help others?
Being married with kids is tough. The associated work and stress can cause couples to become emotionally disconnected. When that happens, it becomes easier for husbands and wives to fall into the affair trap. The most recent studies on marriage have discovered that 30% of men and 20% of women have been unfaithful. These statistics are not very encouraging, but couples can take steps to protect their marriage from infidelity.
In a teaching series called “Affair Proof Your Marriage,” my pastor shared five tips that will help couples to reconnect and reignite the spark in their marriage:
Accommodate your spouse
Admire your spouse
Affirm your spouse
Adore your spouse
Show your spouse affection
These tips are not original or groundbreaking, but they are crucial to building a solid marriage. Take it from a person who has experienced the emotional disconnection. My wife and I went through a rough patch that seemed insurmountable. But we took these simple steps and now our marriage is stronger than ever. We’ve both learned that it’s the small, daily love gestures that really count in a relationship.
Now that I’ve shared this information with you, I’d like to hear some of your feedback. How do you apply these five principles to your marriage or relationship?
The temperature has been surprisingly pleasant in Baghdad. It still gets hot during the day, but the highs are in the low 100s rather than the mid-100s. The mornings are the best time because the weather is cool and breezy. The only problem is that the breeze stirs up the dust and causes it to linger in the air. Since I’ve been in Iraq, I’ve already inhaled and ingested more sand than I believe is healthy. People who suffer from asthma or other respiratory problems must have a hard time in this area of the world.
The other day, I saw some Marines on their morning run. One of them was covered in sand and I thought that he must have fallen down. I quickly realized that he had not fallen down, but that the sand in the air was sticking to his sweat soaked body.
On the security front, things have been a bit dicey. As expected, car bombs and other attacks have increased during Ramadan as insurgents try to chip away at recent security gains that have driven violence to its lowest level in more than four years. On Sunday, September 28, two car bombs killed 13 people and wounded 37. In addition, there seems to be much turmoil as the Iraqi politicians work to make laws and establish their political process.
All of this confusion has made me really miss my family. Because of the time difference and the long hours that I work, I have not been able to talk to them as much as I would like to. My plans to use Skype and a webcam to stay in touch were nixed when I found out that I wouldn’t be able to bring my personal laptop with me.
Even worse, I’ve missed two of my son, N’s, soccer games. My wife, K, told me that he was quite the superstar in his last match. He defended several shots at goal and led his team down the field on scoring drives. K felt bad that the other dads were on the sidelines cheering their sons on while, N, only had a mommy cheering section. I felt more terrible than she did. I made these grandiose plans to never miss a game or a practice. What a difference 8,000 miles makes.
To add insult to injury, I have gained 3 pounds since I’ve been here. While the “chow” is not great, it is plentiful and the catering contractor is quite creative at making new entrees out of leftover items.
Today my wife and I took our boys for their pediatric check-ups. While we were there, the doctor asked if we had any “Mr. Yuk” stickers. I told her that we didn’t and she brought us a few to place around the house. When I looked at those stickers, memories of my childhood came flooding back. I immediately recalled the old “Mr. Yuk” commercial from the 70s. That commercial scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. The ominous “Mr. Yuk is mean. Mr. Yuk is green” followed by diabolical laughter was enough to keep me out of the medicine cabinet. “Mr. Yuk” was a bad dude and I didn’t want any part of him.
This walk down memory lane prompted me to do a YouTube search to find the commercial. I was pleased to find it and I’d like to share it with you. All of you 70s kids will be able to relate.
I showed the commercial to my kids and explained to them why they should not touch items with “Mr. Yuk” stickers. They didn’t seem as scared of “Mr. Yuk” as I was. Maybe it takes more than a green dude to frighten this generation.
My wife, K, and I were frightened a few years ago when my son, N, swallowed some of the oil I use to lubricate my clippers. K freaked out when she noticed him walking out of our bathroom holding the bottle.
“Oh my, God,” she said. “He drank some of that oil.” I tried to play it cool, but I was scared because I took drug counseling course that taught us how oils coat the lungs and cuts off breathing. We weren’t sure if he had ingested any or not, but we weren’t about to take any chances. K called Poison Control to find out what we needed to do. They gave us detailed instructions and we followed them to the letter. We are thankful that he only swallowed a small amount and we were able to flush his system before any serious damage occurred. But the situation could have been much worse if we didn’t have access to the Poison Control Center.
I implore each of you to make sure that you have the Poison Control number in an accessible place. Post it on the refrigerator, in the bathroom and any other location that houses hazardous chemicals. For those who don’t have the phone number, it is (800) 222-1212.
My wife and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary over the weekend. The 11th anniversary is one of those awkward years that don’t end in zero or five so there isn’t a lot of guidance on how to celebrate. To give you an idea of how benign this anniversary is, the traditional wedding gift for eleven years is steel.
We commemorated the date by nursing our daughter’s strep throat and running interference to prevent the other two children for contracting the virus. Not very romantic, but that’s how things work when you’re married with kids.
Our married life, while thoroughly satisfying, has been no crystal stair. Even getting to our wedding date was a bumpy road. When I first intended to propose to my wife, people called me crazy. They said I was too young, too immature, too stupid. They were right. However, I paid them no mind because I was a little boy ready to play house.
“I’m going to ask K to marry me,” I told my best friend hoping he’d offer congratulations.
“Why,” he whispered. “You can’t even watch TV for two minutes without switching channels. How are you going to remain interested in one woman forever?”
“Because she is The One,” I said. “And I love her.”
“I’m sure you do, but why spoil that by getting married.”
While there was cynicism in his voice, there was also truth. When people think of love, they think of joy, excitement, spontaneity. Marriage, by contrast, is work, compromise, and obligation. Since our relationship already possessed the former qualities, I thought matrimony would only enhance our bliss so I set off to buy an engagement ring. Unfortunately, I was unsure of K’s ring size so I tried to siphon that crucial piece of information as discreetly as possible. She was wise to me.
“Don’t buy my ring,” she said carefully framing the sentence as if she were speaking a new language.
“Why not?”
“Because once I put on that ring, it will symbolize forever.” Her words sat in the air like a cartoonist’s balloon. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”
Her response forced me to scrutinize my impulsiveness. Having seen few happy marriages in my lifetime, my wanting to be wed seemed illogical. I remember the fighting and bitterness of my parents’ marriage. I remember the sting of their divorce along with my yearning for a mother and father living in the same house so I could feel normal. My wanting to get married became a challenge rather than a natural progression of a relationship. Because of my parents’ divorce, I was determined to get married and make it work. I wanted to be a better man than my father by not running away when things got sticky. Of course I loved K and wanted to spend my life with her, but my charge was larger than that; it became more Herculean, less Harlequin.
By disrupting my proposal plans, K forced me to forget my charge for a while and concentrate on what was really important - developing our relationship. It took two years before I had the inclination, maturity, and guts to recover from this emotional castration and ask K to marry me again. In the interim, that little boy, who wanted to play house, grew up and learned a few things about marriage and himself. Instead of letting the rejection I felt from the “Ring Incident” sour my feelings towards K, I decided to reacquaint myself with the woman I loved and wait until the time was truly right to propose again.
While not quite forever, eleven years is along time to be married. Because of the ups and downs we’ve experienced over they years, K and I have bonded in a deeper, ethereal, more permanent manner. Not only have we evolved personally, but so has our relationship. I look forward to many more years of married life while drinking from my new stainless steel coffee mug.
Like many men, I am colorblind. Therefore, I’m always asking my wife and my daughter the color of things. Tonight, as I was separating the laundry, I asked my daughter if an item of clothing was white. “It’s pink, Daddy,” she replied with exasperation, “You should really learn your colors.” I guess it’s time to pull out my crayons.
I feel quite honored because Mocha Dad has received two awards this month. The first was the “Charming Blog” award and most recently, I received the “Your Blog is Fabulous” award. I would like to thank Kathy Sena, who blogs at Parent Talk Today, for bestowing the honor upon me.
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