The dreaded “Man Cold” has been crippling the male species since time began. The Bible doesn’t go into detail, but I’m convinced that Adam agreed to eat the apple because his judgment was clouded by a “man cold.”

I read the following article on MSN that describes the man cold and gives women some tips on how to treat it.

This “debilitating disease” can be “near fatal,” says the Urban Dictionary. It’s specific to the male species and demands fast attention.

The symptoms are horrible: coughing, sneezing, sore throat, low energy and the telltale man-whine. What’s a girl to do? Yes, it’s up to the opposite sex to save their men from their colds. Let’s go through the drill:

Do not put him in bed. Instead, let him recoup here.

Turn on the TV - fast. Find some sports or cartoons and give him the remote control.

He’ll be too weak to call for you, so make sure to check in on him every three minutes. A little bell is also helpful.

He’ll need an endless supply of tissues, fast food, cookies and lots of tea.

Once he shows signs of improvement (by asking you what you’re doing every 10 minutes), he’s ready for movie therapy. Star Wars, James Bond, or sports related movies work well during this next step in the man cold treatment plan. Note: No matter how much he begs, do not let him watch “Brian’s Song.” In his weakened state, the emotional drain will be too much for him.

If a week has gone by and there’s no improvement, bring out the big guns: have a chick flick marathon consisting of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, Steel Magnolias, and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and if he’s not in the shower after that, tell him you can’t remember if you feed a cold, starve a fever or the reverse, so you’d better ask your mother to come over.

He’ll be back on his feet before you can say, “Do these pants make my butt look big?”

My friend, Teendoc, who blogs at Welcome to the Dollhouse, first diagnosed my man cold a few weeks ago when I was pleading for sympathy on Twitter. My ailing fingers could barely type out the message, but I needed the world to know how miserable I was. Teendoc responded with a link to this video. After I watched it I thought, “Finally, a doctor who understands my misery.” I showed the video to my wife so she could have a better understanding of what I was going through. She went into a tirade about how mothers don’t have the luxury of having a “man cold” because they have to blah, blah, blah. I pulled my blanket over my head because I was way too sick to comprehend her rambling (BTW, this was a bad move).

A week later, I contracted a stomach virus. Instead of displaying sympathy, my daughter looked at my wife and said, “Oh, no. Looks like dad has another man cold. I guess he’ll be in bed all day, again.”

Stay Strong,
Mocha Dad

Question: Who handles illnesses better, men or women?

Tags: brian's song, daughter, divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood, doctor, health, james bond, man cold, msn, sick, sisterhood of the traveling pants, star wars, steel magnolias, twitter, wife

In my quest to live a healthier lifestyle, I have become a loyal subscriber to Men’s Health Magazine. It has become my health and fitness bible. In addition to exercise and diet tips, the magazine also has great articles on manhood. In the June 2008 issue, I encountered several fatherhood fact I would like to share. My comments are in italics.

1. Odds that the average guy will become a dad: 1 in 2. That’s great unless they find out they’re dads on Maury Povich’s show.
2. Number of children the average guy has: 2. Many of those guys in the NBA are way above average.
3. Number of men who spawn four of more children: 1 in 10. Hello Shawn Kemp.
4. If men could choose the gender, the number who would choose to have a daughter: 1 in 20. The number who are eager for their daughters to date: 0!
5. Number of men who say they aren’t comfortable handling a baby: 1 in 10. That number increases exponentially when a poopy diaper is involved.
6. Percentage of dads who want to instill healthier eating habits in their kids than they had growing up: 20. The other eighty percent consider Cherry Coke a fruit.
7. Percentage who spend less than 2 hours with their kids each day: 42. Football games last longer than this.
8. Number of men who rate their father’s parenting skills as “below average”: 1 in 4. I hope that this generation of fathers fares better.
9. The major reason: He didn’t show love. See my earlier post “Learning to Love.”
10. The average guy’s first choice for a dad besides the man who raised him: Bill Cosby. “The Cosby Show” Bill Cosby, not the grumpy old man, Bill Cosby.
11. The average father’s top parenting fear: His kid will run with a bad crowd. At least worse than the crowd he ran with.
12. Number yearly who take permanent leave to become stay-at-home dads: 143,000. So why is there still so much traffic when I go to work.
13. The average father’s biggest parenting problem: Not having enough money. Can you ever have enough money with children?
14. The cost to raise a child to age 18: $181,480. Worth every penny!
15. Percentage of men who think kids should reimburse their parents for raising them: 22. These are the guys who fall into the “below average” category.
16. Number of current fathers who would still want to have kids if they could do it over again: 19 in 20. What’s up with number 20?

Stay Strong,
Mocha Dad

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Tags: bill cosby, children, dad, fact, father, fatherhood, football, health, kid, love, maury povich, men, money, nba, parent, shawn kemp

I read that Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps eats an estimated 12,000 calories per day. Even with this large consumption of food, Phelps has a hard time gaining weight because of his intense training schedule and super metabolism.

I remember those days when I could eat anything and not gain a pound. I didn’t gain my freshman 15 until I was out of college and only because I started lifting weights heavily. But when I reached my 30s, the fairytale was over. Work, family and other commitments kept me from the gym and years of office work and expense account meals helped to expand my waistband. Today if I were to eat as many calories as Michael Phelps does, I would have to have my own zip code.

I was in denial about the amount of weight I was gaining. Sure, I had to go up one pant size, but I chalked it up designer’s cutting their clothes differently. Of course, I got the snide remarks from family members about how fat I was getting (ya gotta love family), but I ignored them by rationalizing that they were just used to seeing me very thin.

I had gotten so lethargic that I wouldn’t even play with the kids in the backyard no matter how much they begged. It took two events to make me do something about my personal fitness and weight.

The first was when I ran into a colleague, whom I had not seen in over a decade. I said hello and he stared at me blankly. When my face finally registered, he said that he didn’t recognize me because I had gained so much weight. I was shocked. The next motivator was my 20-Year high school class reunion. In high school, I weighed 125 lbs soaking wet. I had to look my best when I walked in the door.

To start the weight loss process, I stepped on the scale with much fear and trepidation. When I looked down, it read 188 lbs. I couldn’t believe it. I convinced myself that the scale was wrong. A subsequent weigh-in at the YMCA proved that it was right.

I immediately changed the way I ate, no more fried foods or sodas, and kept an online food journal. I know that the journal sounds a little anal retentive (my wife calls me the food Nazi), but it kept me on track by keeping me informed on where my calories were coming from. I also started exercising again. It was painful at first and I hated every bit of it. After a few weeks, the workouts became easier and I looked forward to them.

So far, I have lost, and kept off, 20 lbs. I won’t burden you with my before and after photos (although, I am really tempted to take off my shirt and show off my new bod). Suffice it to say that I am fitter and stronger than I have been in a long time. The BMI chart says that I should lose about 15 more pounds. That’s not gonna happen. As long as I can remain between 165-170 lbs, I’m good.

I’m pleased that Dr. Ian along with Allstate started the 50 Million Pound Challenge in order to tackle obesity in our community. It’s a serious problem that is causing African Americans to suffer from high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes at alarming rates.

If you’ve been considering losing weight, I encourage you to go for it. Let me warn you that it won’t be easy. There will be several occasions when you’ll be tempted to revert to your old ways; however, when you start to see the numbers on the scale go backwards, you will feel more energized and committed. And when you finally reach your target, you will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. I certainly did.

Now instead of sitting on the couch with the remote in my hand, I spend evenings practicing soccer with my son, jumping rope with my daughter, or playing “Tag” with the both of them. No begging necessary.

Stay strong,
Mocha Dad

Tags: african american, blood pressure, bmi, calories, diabetes, diet, exercise, family, fitness, food, health, heart disease, high school, michael phelps, obesity, reunion, weight loss, ymca