During dinner, my wife, KayEm, and I often attempt to teach our children life lessons. For the most part, we do a good job of delivering motivational messages that resonate with the kids. There are other times when we fail to make our intended point.
One such time was when we were teaching the kids the proper way to respond when things don’t go their way.
“Bad things will happen to you during your life,” said KayEm. “No matter how good you are.”
The kids stared blankly at her as they shoved forkfuls of spaghetti in their mouths.
“Even, though bad things will happen,” she continued. “Your reaction is what will make all of the difference.”
KayEm was still not getting through to the kids. I took this opportunity to chime in and focus my teachings on our oldest child, Nee.
“You are in control of how you respond to every situation,” I said. I went on to elaborate how she should choose to respond positively when her brother, N, annoys her instead of getting angry.
During my lecture, N began blowing bubbles in his milk. The sound of the milk sloshing around in his cup started to annoy me, but I kept my composure and continued speaking.
“Never let anyone else control your response,” I continued.
bubble * bubble * bubble
“When people discover that they can control you, they will use that power to their advantage.” I kept watching N out of the corner of my eye trying to resist the urge to pour his milk down the sink.
bubble * bubble * bubble
Finally the bubbles spilled over the top of the cup, and I snapped.
“Will you stop blowing those bubbles?” I yelled as I banged my first on the table. “You’re driving me crazy!” The whole kitchen went silent and N gently pushed the cup away from his mouth.
Nee looked at me with a smirk and asked, “Is that how I’m supposed to react?”
Stay Strong,
Have you ever had one of these “Do as I say, not as I do moments?”
Popularity: 3% [?]
Andrea Paetkau (110)
Cheryl (80)
Mari (59)
Bryan (38)
carma (38)
Kim (38)
Annonandon (37)
Fran Oriordan (37)
Nancy (36)
Natalie A. (34)
{ 19 comments }
I often think about the things I’m modeling vs saying because I know I’m not as consistent as I’d like to be.
And just a recommendation to help convey your message… authors Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman. Very big on the teaching of personal responsibility and consequences and choices.
I too have had those life situations. Sometimes it feels as if the youngsters know how to double team you to see if you are practicing what you preach. I have adopted a twist to that saying by only “preaching what I practice”. As I learn and apply to my life, I share and teach others. Beautiful article. Most Dads feel like they are the only ones that go through this. Thank you.
Even when they appear to be ignoring what we say, they do hear us. Case in point: her smirking remark. You’d gotten through to her without even knowing it. Cunning little 2-leggeds, aren’t they?
Oh man, that is too funny. Ok, back to the drawing board on that one MD.
Dude, that is a classic one. I often times forget that they really do watch and imitate what we do. Thanks for reminding me.
As my kids were yelling at each other while playing the Wii this weekend, I turned to them and yelled, “STOP YELLING! WE DON’T YELL AT EACH OTHER IN THIS HOUSE!”
OMG. I do this all the time…I realize I’m yelling telling them to stop yelling and just talk….classic quote: “Can’t you just say what you have to say without yelling?”
Oh. My.
Smart little bugger, isn’t she?
Priceless.
Ouch! I’m guessing it’s too late for “do as I say, not as I do”
Hey Mocha Dad:
That was PERFECT. They do catch us that’s for sure. My little one is 5 and he has determined that Shut Up! is a bad term so whenever he hears it he says ‘ooooooh Mommy so and so said a bad word’ Well when I hear something funny or unbelievable I exclaim loudly ‘SHUT UP’ to the person who has said this funny or unbelievable thing to me. Of course my precious 5 year old heard me make this exclamation while chatting on the phone one day and looked me dead in the face and said ‘Mommy, oooooooooh you said a bad word, I’m going to tell Daddy!”
From the mouths of babes.
I suppose this is an example of how kids can learn from our mistakes as well, not just our instructions.
I really enjoy your blog. Thanks for sharing this real life example of how tough it is to always be an example for our kids.
All the time. When we tell our daughter that the kitchen is closed, we may or may not sneak in for a snack.
Our kids will make us do, and say things we had no intentions of doing or saying. And they know us, oh so well.
Driving- that is when I sometimes slip. If the kids are quiet and someone cuts me off I sometimes forget that they are there and use colorful language to describe the other driver.
Not good.
Nice blog you have here.
Too funny. Gotta love those great moments in parenting.
Isn’t that such a perfect example of what most parenting is like?
This is such a classic parenting moment. It’s so glad to hear we’re not alone.
Oops! A better response would have been to point it out to everyone and say that if N decides to waste such a precious resource like food, then he will have to (enter punishment here, timeout, etc). Hindsight is 20/20.
Bryan
Comments on this entry are closed.