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Hair Styling is No Job for Daddies

Don't touch my hair, Daddy!

Don't touch my hair, Daddy!

My daughter, Nee, has absolutely no confidence in my ability to do her hair. Whenever I attempt to style it, she becomes more obnoxious than a talk radio host.

Recently, my wife, KayEm, had to run an errand and I thought I would surprise her by combing and styling Nee’s hair (even though Nee prefers KayEm to do her hair, it’s not a pleasant experience for either party. If you’ve ever bathed a cat, you can understand how these styling sessions go).

I gathered all of the tools and materials and set-up a styling station in the kitchen. “Nee,” I said. “Come and sit down so Daddy can do your hair.” A look of horror covered her face.

“No!” she yelled. “You’re NOT doing my hair.”

“C’mon,” I said. “Daddy, can do it. I’ll make you look beautiful.”

“NO!” she yelled again. “I want Mommy to do my hair.”

“But Mommy’s gone to climb Everest and won’t be back for three months,” I said.

“I’ll wait,” she said, as she crossed her arms and dug her heels into the ceramic tile.

When Nee was younger and couldn’t voice objections, I did her hair periodically. Although I had absolutely no experience, I think I managed to make her look presentable. I always stuck with my two default hairstyles: Afro with a head band, or one single pony tail. Whenever I tried to get fancy, it was a disaster. Nee wound up with crooked parts down the middle of her head and two lopsided ponytails. Who knows what would have happened if I had attempted three.

Because of my hairstyling shortcomings, KayEm relieved me of this duty. “I’ll handle Nee’s hair from now on,” she told me. “You just take care of the boys.”

“What’s wrong with the way I do her hair?” I asked. She smiled and gently patted me on the back.

“You just take care of the boys’ hair,” she repeated.

“Give me one reason why I can’t do her hair”, I insisted.

KayEm sighed and shook her head before saying, “Because I don’t want my daughter going out looking crazy.”

“She’s my daughter, too,” I protested. “I would never let my little princess look crazy in public.”

“You’re right. She is your daughter too, so we’ll let her decide,” said KayEm as she beckoned Nee over to us. “Who do you want to do your hair? Mommy or Daddy?”

“Mommy!” she said instantly.

I was hurt. My little princess had rejected me in favor of cute hairstyles.

Nee is in third grade now, and I know that things such as hairstyles and fashion are much more important to her. In her world, it’s uncool to wear daddy-inspired hairstyles. I know my baby is growing up, but I miss the days when a single ponytail was good enough.

Stay Strong,

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Questions: Dads, how often you style your daughters’ hair? Moms, under what circumstances do you allow your husbands to style your daughters’ hair.


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  • http://www.southernbellaswaystosave.com/ Kasandria

    This post cracked me up. My husband gives it his all. He’s doing better too, but let’s face it Mama’s need to do the kids hair lol. Except in dire circumstances.
    Kas

  • http://www.southernbellaswaystosave.com/ Kasandria

    This post cracked me up. My husband gives it his all. He’s doing better too, but let’s face it Mama’s need to do the kids hair lol. Except in dire circumstances.
    Kas

  • http://lady-mama.blogspot.com/ Lady Mama

    I’m just jealous you have someone’s hair to even think about styling. I have two boys so there may never be any pigtails or cute styles here.

  • http://lady-mama.blogspot.com/ Lady Mama

    I’m just jealous you have someone’s hair to even think about styling. I have two boys so there may never be any pigtails or cute styles here.

  • http://www.watchingthewaters.wordpress.com Corey

    My husband has never done any of our daughters’ hair (white or black), but he does take the boys to the barber shop and he makes sure their hair is oiled and combed even when there is almost none of it. While I rarely did anything more than brush the tangles out of our bio daughter’s hair, I quickly learned with our black daughters that their hair better look good EVERY time we stepped out the door, because everybody and their brother was gonna be checking to see if I was capable. (And no. For a long time, I was not.) If I ever kick the bucket, my husband better just buy a braid shop.

  • http://www.watchingthewaters.wordpress.com Corey

    My husband has never done any of our daughters’ hair (white or black), but he does take the boys to the barber shop and he makes sure their hair is oiled and combed even when there is almost none of it. While I rarely did anything more than brush the tangles out of our bio daughter’s hair, I quickly learned with our black daughters that their hair better look good EVERY time we stepped out the door, because everybody and their brother was gonna be checking to see if I was capable. (And no. For a long time, I was not.) If I ever kick the bucket, my husband better just buy a braid shop.

  • http://www.prettypinkchandelier.com/ nicole

    I don’t have a daughter – two boys here – but my husband has been banned from going anywhere near our boys’ hair with anything other than a comb. Lets just say that a year and a half ago he thought he could give our eldest a nice hair cut on his own….he ended up bald!

  • http://www.prettypinkchandelier.com/ nicole

    I don’t have a daughter – two boys here – but my husband has been banned from going anywhere near our boys’ hair with anything other than a comb. Lets just say that a year and a half ago he thought he could give our eldest a nice hair cut on his own….he ended up bald!

  • Anonymous

    I am laughing at the “tools and materials”—like you are remodeling a house! You should take pictures if she let’s you comb her hair again. We’d love to see your skills.

  • Anonymous

    I am laughing at the “tools and materials”—like you are remodeling a house! You should take pictures if she let’s you comb her hair again. We’d love to see your skills.

  • http://www.mamistimeout.com Jai

    This post reminded me of when my brother used to do my hair when I was younger. We are 11 years apart so he got some good practice with my hair. My mom is a hairdresser so my dad was lucky enough not to have to do my hair. And they were lucky that I loved to get my hair done. Thankfully my brother had that experience early because he now has three daughters and one son. I have a son now, and if I get the chance to have a daughter my hubby is definitely relieved of those duties. :)

  • http://www.mamistimeout.com Jai

    This post reminded me of when my brother used to do my hair when I was younger. We are 11 years apart so he got some good practice with my hair. My mom is a hairdresser so my dad was lucky enough not to have to do my hair. And they were lucky that I loved to get my hair done. Thankfully my brother had that experience early because he now has three daughters and one son. I have a son now, and if I get the chance to have a daughter my hubby is definitely relieved of those duties. :)

  • http://www.twitter.com/supergg2k Dan

    My wife does my daughter’s hair with good reason. People can tell when my daughter has a dad hair day.

    http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/45sEACpbFv0qNNhgY3SxGA?authkey=Gv1sRgCPiyzfWX1_qojAE&feat=directlink

  • http://www.twitter.com/supergg2k Dan

    My wife does my daughter’s hair with good reason. People can tell when my daughter has a dad hair day.

    http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/45sEACpbFv0qNNhgY3SxGA?authkey=Gv1sRgCPiyzfWX1_qojAE&feat=directlink

  • http://decksidethoughts.blogspot.com Cheryl

    This was a hoot!

    • http://www.mochadad.com mochadad

      She still won’t let me touch her hair.

  • Mj

    maybe you should take lessons from this dad with an ethiopian daughter http://projects.ajc.com/gallery/view/living/braids/

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