Don't touch my hair, Daddy!
My daughter, Nee, has absolutely no confidence in my ability to do her hair. Whenever I attempt to style it, she becomes more obnoxious than Rush Limbaugh.
Recently, my wife, KayEm, had to run an errand and I thought I would surprise her by combing and styling Nee’s hair (even though, Nee prefers KayEm to do her hair, it’s not a pleasant experience for either party. If you’ve ever bathed a cat, you can understand how these styling sessions go). I gathered all of the tools and materials and set-up a styling station at the kitchen table.
“Nee,” I said. “Come and sit down so Daddy can do your hair.” A looked of horror covered her face.
“No!” she yelled. “You’re NOT doing my hair.”
“C’mon,” I said. “Daddy, can do it. I’ll make you look beautiful.”
“NO!” she yelled again. “I want Mommy to do my hair.”
“But Mommy won’t be back for three weeks,” I said.
“I’ll wait,” she said as she crossed her arms and dug her heels into the ceramic tile.
When Nee was younger and couldn’t voice objections, I did her hair periodically. Although I had absolutely no experience, I think I managed to make her look presentable. I always stuck with my two default hairstyles: Afro with a head band or one single pony tail. Whenever I tried to get fancy, it was a disaster. Nee wound up with crooked parts down the middle of her head and two lopsided ponytails. Who knows what would have happened if I had attempted three.
Because of my hairstyling shortcomings, KayEm relieved me of this duty.
“I’ll handle Nee’s hair from now on,” she told me. “You just take care of the boys.”
“What’s wrong with the way I do her hair?” I asked. She smiled and gently patted me on the back.
“You just take care of the boys,” she repeated. “Because I don’t want my daughter going out looking crazy.”
“She’s my daughter, too,” I protested. “I would never let me little princess look crazy in public.”
“You’re right. She is your daughter too so we’ll let her decide,” said KayEm as she beckoned Nee over to us. “Who do you want to do your hair? Mommy or Daddy?”
“Mommy!” she said. I was hurt. My little princess had rejected me in favor or cute hairstyles.
Nee is in third grade now and I know that things such as hairstyles and fashion are much more important to her now. In her world, it’s uncool to wear daddy inspired hairstyles. I know my baby is growing but, but I miss the days when a single ponytail was good enough.
Stay Strong,
Questions: Dads, how often you style your daughters’ hair? Moms, under what circumstances do you allow your husbands to style your daughters’ hair.
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I see we have the same level of hairstyling expertise. I thank my lucky stars that I had a boy, because I am completely clueless on lots of this girly stuff. Nee would have fired me as well, if that is any consolation
One pony tail is the max of my girl-hair styling skills. If my daughter’s hair is any fancier it means that it is either the weekend or her mother was home from work that day.
Aww, what a nice try, but sorry dad, moms are way better hair doers
The days of when just a ponytail is good enough does not last very long. My daughters used to shriek when their dad asked to do their hair! It’s a girl thing 
I will be forwarding this post to my wife who thinks that I should be styling our daughter’s hair. I abstain for the same reasons.
I truly admire you for even wanting to tackle the task of doing a little girl’s hair. Most dads would run the other way. I don’t ever remember my dad touching my hair. I am secretly praying that I have a boy because my poor daughter’s hair will look crazy. I have never been able to do hair. Keep hope alive! She’ll appreciate your efforts one day.
Awww, poor dads. Luckily, I don’t have that problem since I only have boys! But I think my hubby would be the same way.
LOL! I just love this blog! Thanks for making me smile. Can’t wait to share this post with my community of Chocolate Moms.
My daughter is also in 3rd grade and about the time she started preschool she realized that dad just doesn’t do her hair like mom does. Dad never quite figured out that it helps to wet down the bed head in the morning. Now, of course, she’s old enough to brush out her own hair, but she still comes to me every morning to make sure the part is straight.
BTW, thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. Hope you keep coming back.
Don’t fret. My husband can’t do our girls hair very well either. Mainly because he has man hair and never learned girl hair through the course of his life. I can do my girls hair, but I am sure that you could do your daughters hair better than I could. Once again lack of life long experience and knowledge.
I loved this post!
Did you ever see Joeprah’s video on how he does his girls’ hair? He and Mr. Lady had a “competition” once; they both did videos and the readers judged who was better at it. Good stuff!
P.S. I don’t have daughters, so it’s not an issue here.
Put the brush and pony tail holders down. Now!
When I was in elementary school, my mom was sometimes out of town for weeks at a time. This led to some terrible hair experiences with my dad. I’ll give it to him though… he genuinely tried. Usually it was just a ponytail or a half-up/half-down style, but no matter what, it looked crooked and messy. I would literally cry when he finished! Looking back on the experiences though, I now laugh when I think of it, and I’m happy that my dad was sweet enough to try.
Um, yeah, when my girls were little I found out that my husband used to drive the girls over to my mother-in-law’s so she could do their hair for him. I was a little peeved – that’s cheating! His answer: “You can’t tell me how to do it, just as long as it gets done.”
Wow, I can totally relate. My oldest has resorted to doing her on hair when Mommy is not around and my youngest will only let me condition her hair. She lets her sister put in the pony tail holders because “Daddy’s too rough.”
Fred you need to practice on something. My 6th grader will let me part her hair if her mom is gone. I did it all the time when she was little. She is very gracious. Her mom is much better and faster than me.
Great post.
As Obi Wan would say, “this is a fight you cannot win.” If I were in your shoes, I’d just let this one go and focus on making sure she keeps her car’s oil changed (once she’s driving, of course). I used to get the grief from my daughters whenever I’d try to touch their hair, back before they could do anything like that for themselves.
even I have a hard time doing my girls’ hair! i have to give you credit for even wanting to try, i don’t think my husband would even know what to do with a brush!
At least you try. ‘A’ for effort. Honestly, lots of moms don’t know how to comb their girls’ hair. It is something that comes from practice. Just like anything else, the more you do it the better you get.
I have boys and I don’t like taking them to the barber shop.
You are one brave daddy. I have a hard enough time brushing my own hair much less Bea’s.
I too style my daughters hair, if styling is to move her hair around and take out the tangles. The pony tail is my favorite. Mostly because I am able to get her hair out of her face and also to show off her cute ears. My daughter does prefer her mom because the tangles come out easier, so she says.
Back in the day when our kids were small my husband could pull of a decent ponytail if he had to.
Loved this one so much I had to RT! My 3 yr old gives me the same flack, and I’m the hair comber in the house! What gives?!
I still let my dad do my hair when i’m home. He’s trimmed my hair for me since i was kid. (No styling allowed tho!)
I do think dads get the rough from kids, esp girls when it comes to getting ready, but they handle it just fine. My dad raised me by himself for five years
Step away from the hairbrush, dad!
LOL!!
This post cracked me up. My husband gives it his all. He’s doing better too, but let’s face it Mama’s need to do the kids hair lol. Except in dire circumstances.
Kas
I’m just jealous you have someone’s hair to even think about styling. I have two boys so there may never be any pigtails or cute styles here.
My husband has never done any of our daughters’ hair (white or black), but he does take the boys to the barber shop and he makes sure their hair is oiled and combed even when there is almost none of it. While I rarely did anything more than brush the tangles out of our bio daughter’s hair, I quickly learned with our black daughters that their hair better look good EVERY time we stepped out the door, because everybody and their brother was gonna be checking to see if I was capable. (And no. For a long time, I was not.) If I ever kick the bucket, my husband better just buy a braid shop.
I don’t have a daughter – two boys here – but my husband has been banned from going anywhere near our boys’ hair with anything other than a comb. Lets just say that a year and a half ago he thought he could give our eldest a nice hair cut on his own….he ended up bald!
I am laughing at the “tools and materials”—like you are remodeling a house! You should take pictures if she let’s you comb her hair again. We’d love to see your skills.
This post reminded me of when my brother used to do my hair when I was younger. We are 11 years apart so he got some good practice with my hair. My mom is a hairdresser so my dad was lucky enough not to have to do my hair. And they were lucky that I loved to get my hair done. Thankfully my brother had that experience early because he now has three daughters and one son. I have a son now, and if I get the chance to have a daughter my hubby is definitely relieved of those duties.
My wife does my daughter’s hair with good reason. People can tell when my daughter has a dad hair day.
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