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From the Mind of a Six-Year Old

As summer ends and fall begins, my family has many special occasions to celebrate. My wedding anniversary and my 2-year old son X’s birthday have just passed and now it’s time to celebrate my son, N’s turning six.

N is a precocious child who keeps my wife, KayEm, and I laughing and scratching our heads in amazement at the things that come out of his mouth.

One night at bedtime, he grabbed my hand and led me to his bedroom.

“Daddy,” he said quietly. “I have to tell you something.”

“What is it, son?” I asked.

“Some of the kids at school say bad words.”

“Really,” I said. “Like what?”

“I can’t say them,” he responded. “I’ll get in trouble.”

“You won’t get in trouble this time,” I assured him. “Just tell me what they say.”

He looked around his room to make sure that no one else was listening and then whispered, “They say butt.”

“Kids will say words that are much worse than that,” I said.

“Like what?” N asked.

“I’m not going to say them to you,” I said.

“Why not?” He asked. “Will you get in trouble and go to hell?”

All I could do was shake my head.

But he really confounds us with his “What Would Happen If…” questions. Here are a few of his latest ones:

What would happen if a little boy saw a little girl naked?

What would happen if I took a bath in root beer?

What would happen if there were white people in our family?

What would happen if I drown and was eaten by a shark?

What would happen if bugs built their own cars?

What would happen if I swung across a pit of lava on a vine?

What would happen if trains drove on the road and cars drove on railroad tracks?

What would happen if our car turned into a Decepticon?

What would happen if I could transform into an airplane?

What would happen if I went to work and you went to school?

These are the things that his six-year-old mind is pondering. I’m afraid to think about the thoughts that will fill his teenage brain.

I was thankful that I got to spend some time with N on his birthday this year (last year I was stuck in a desert in Iraq). Unfortunately, I could only spend a few hours with him because I had to leave for another business trip. I joined N for lunch at his school. Although he enjoyed this birthday surprise, he was ecstatic about his birthday present.

A few years ago, when I sold toys online, I bought a Hot Wheels race track to sell. I decided to keep the track for N to play with, but he was only two and the recommended age was eight. For the past four years, N has stared longingly at that racetrack wishing he could play with it. K and I decided to let him have it this year (yeah, I know he’s not eight yet, but why torture him any longer).

N tore into the wrapping paper like the Tasmanian devil. His eyes danced and his face became one big smile when he discovered it was the racetrack he had been coveting. Unfortunately I was not there to experience this moment, but the heartfelt thanks and bear hug I received when I returned home was good enough for me.

Happy Birthday, N! Daddy loves you.

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  • http://www.mybottlesup.com nic @mybottlesup

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY OH PRECOCIOUS ONE!!!! NEVER STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

  • http://www.mybottlesup.com nic @mybottlesup

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY OH PRECOCIOUS ONE!!!! NEVER STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

  • http://diapersanddragons.blogspot.com TeacherMommy

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Love the questions. I get some of that already from my not-quite-four-year-old. I agree–we’re doomed when they’re teens.

  • http://diapersanddragons.blogspot.com TeacherMommy

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Love the questions. I get some of that already from my not-quite-four-year-old. I agree–we’re doomed when they’re teens.

  • http://dadunmasked.com/ DadUnmasked

    Your son is trip with all of those questions! I get lots from my 7 year old daughter as well. She turned 7 last friday.

    Happy Birthday to your son and I’m glad he got that race track he was longing for.

  • http://dadunmasked.com/ DadUnmasked

    Your son is trip with all of those questions! I get lots from my 7 year old daughter as well. She turned 7 last friday.

    Happy Birthday to your son and I’m glad he got that race track he was longing for.

  • http://lifeoutoffocus.com becky

    i love reading all your stories about your kids and the stuff they say!

  • http://lifeoutoffocus.com becky

    i love reading all your stories about your kids and the stuff they say!

  • http://www.blacknbougie.com OneChele

    Happy Birthday to the little one! My nephew’s latest thing (he’s 5) is “Why do you ask?” So we’re playing and I say at thirty minute intervals, “Do you need to go to the bathroom?” (Auntie Chele has learned the hard way.) He looks me straight in the eye and says, “No… why do you ask?”

    I asked him if he wants a popsicle and he looks at me like I’m crazy, “Of course I do… why do you ask?”

    “Are you ready to go home now?” “No I want to stay here… why do you ask?” Ha!

    I’m dying to know where he picked it up.

  • http://www.blacknbougie.com OneChele

    Happy Birthday to the little one! My nephew’s latest thing (he’s 5) is “Why do you ask?” So we’re playing and I say at thirty minute intervals, “Do you need to go to the bathroom?” (Auntie Chele has learned the hard way.) He looks me straight in the eye and says, “No… why do you ask?”

    I asked him if he wants a popsicle and he looks at me like I’m crazy, “Of course I do… why do you ask?”

    “Are you ready to go home now?” “No I want to stay here… why do you ask?” Ha!

    I’m dying to know where he picked it up.

  • http://www.watchingthewaters.wordpress.com Corey

    My kids started at a new school this year, in a new state. Parents are allowed to go in and have lunch with their kids. My 10 year old had asked me if I would, and I agreed to come the next day. Apparently she felt she needed to prep her friend. “Marley,” she said, “my mom is white.” (My daughter is brown; Haitian.) The girl laughed. “Yeah, okay, Tina,” she said. “No, REALLY!” “Ok, Tina, GOOD ONE.”

    You should have seen Marley’s eyeballs pop out when white Mama showed up!

    (FWIW, in our family, brown kids outnumber everybody else, 5:3!)

  • http://www.watchingthewaters.wordpress.com Corey

    My kids started at a new school this year, in a new state. Parents are allowed to go in and have lunch with their kids. My 10 year old had asked me if I would, and I agreed to come the next day. Apparently she felt she needed to prep her friend. “Marley,” she said, “my mom is white.” (My daughter is brown; Haitian.) The girl laughed. “Yeah, okay, Tina,” she said. “No, REALLY!” “Ok, Tina, GOOD ONE.”

    You should have seen Marley’s eyeballs pop out when white Mama showed up!

    (FWIW, in our family, brown kids outnumber everybody else, 5:3!)

  • http://www.almightydad.com Keith Wilcox

    Very nice. I love the “what would happen if I took a bath in root beer” question. Who would think of that but a kid :-) I never wait for the age recommendations on the toy boxes either. I find they are usually written with liability in mind. “They say Butt! ” very cute.

  • http://www.almightydad.com Keith Wilcox

    Very nice. I love the “what would happen if I took a bath in root beer” question. Who would think of that but a kid :-) I never wait for the age recommendations on the toy boxes either. I find they are usually written with liability in mind. “They say Butt! ” very cute.

  • http://fishyfish.blogspot.com sam-i-am

    Out of the mouths of babies come the most intelligent questions some adults are afraid to ask. Never stop asking questions little one…Happy Birthday!

  • http://fishyfish.blogspot.com sam-i-am

    Out of the mouths of babies come the most intelligent questions some adults are afraid to ask. Never stop asking questions little one…Happy Birthday!

  • http://smallslice.blogspot.com Sarah @ Small Slice

    I want to know how you answered all of those “what would happen” questions?

  • http://smallslice.blogspot.com Sarah @ Small Slice

    I want to know how you answered all of those “what would happen” questions?

  • http://microblogologist.blogspot.com Microblogologist

    Happy birthday to your little guy, my niece just turned 6 too, her birthday is in July. It is amazing every year to watch her grow, I imagine it is the same for you and K, it happens so fast! He is obviously a very smart little boy, those are very interesting questions, and yeah you are likely going to have to keep an eye on him in 10 or so years, hehehe!

  • http://microblogologist.blogspot.com Microblogologist

    Happy birthday to your little guy, my niece just turned 6 too, her birthday is in July. It is amazing every year to watch her grow, I imagine it is the same for you and K, it happens so fast! He is obviously a very smart little boy, those are very interesting questions, and yeah you are likely going to have to keep an eye on him in 10 or so years, hehehe!

  • http://lady-mama.blogspot.com/ Lady Mama

    Very funny. “What would happen if I took a bath in root beer?” – Love that. Where do kids come up with this stuff? Can’t wait until my son is asking these questions.

  • http://lady-mama.blogspot.com/ Lady Mama

    Very funny. “What would happen if I took a bath in root beer?” – Love that. Where do kids come up with this stuff? Can’t wait until my son is asking these questions.

  • http://www.outnumberedonline.com Out-Numbered

    Dude. I think it would be funny if I (White Person) came to your house and took a Root beer bath in your bath tub. That would certainly get him asking some more questions…

  • http://www.outnumberedonline.com Out-Numbered

    Dude. I think it would be funny if I (White Person) came to your house and took a Root beer bath in your bath tub. That would certainly get him asking some more questions…

  • http://recycleddad.wordpress.com Dave

    When my oldest son was in kindergarten, he told me his bus monitor said a bad word.

    Dad: “What did he say?”

    Son: “He said ‘Shut up.’ He said it a lot.”

  • http://recycleddad.wordpress.com Dave

    When my oldest son was in kindergarten, he told me his bus monitor said a bad word.

    Dad: “What did he say?”

    Son: “He said ‘Shut up.’ He said it a lot.”

  • http://gunfighter1.typepad.com Gunfighter

    Dude, I could spend a lot of time with you, talking about the things that have come out of the mouths of my children. Reading what you are hearing now reminds me so much of what I heard from both of my daughters (who are now 20 and 10).

    Cheers,

    GF

  • http://gunfighter1.typepad.com Gunfighter

    Dude, I could spend a lot of time with you, talking about the things that have come out of the mouths of my children. Reading what you are hearing now reminds me so much of what I heard from both of my daughters (who are now 20 and 10).

    Cheers,

    GF

  • Shawn

    Reading this post put a big smile on my face. What an inquisitive nature he has! And now that I think about it, I’m kind of curious to see what WOULD happen if I took a bath in root beer…

    Happy Belated to you, little man! :)

  • Shawn

    Reading this post put a big smile on my face. What an inquisitive nature he has! And now that I think about it, I’m kind of curious to see what WOULD happen if I took a bath in root beer…

    Happy Belated to you, little man! :)

  • http://www.rockanddrool.com melissa

    happy birthday you funny kid!!
    if your son and my son sat and had a conversation together…oy. vey.

  • http://www.rockanddrool.com melissa

    happy birthday you funny kid!!
    if your son and my son sat and had a conversation together…oy. vey.

  • Cynthia

    Happy Birthday! I have a teen and he’s STILL asking “what would happen if” questions… It’s wonderful. Be blessed!

  • Cynthia

    Happy Birthday! I have a teen and he’s STILL asking “what would happen if” questions… It’s wonderful. Be blessed!

  • http://sexandthesouthernbelle.blogspot.com Tatianna

    Wow…he says some amazing things!!! Happy Birthday to your son! He’s imagination is going to help him in the long run!

  • http://sexandthesouthernbelle.blogspot.com Tatianna

    Wow…he says some amazing things!!! Happy Birthday to your son! He’s imagination is going to help him in the long run!

  • http://offthespaceship.blogspot.com Reiza

    He sounds like an awesome kid.

    A great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him.

  • http://offthespaceship.blogspot.com Reiza

    He sounds like an awesome kid.

    A great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him.

  • JackiYo

    Happy birthday, little man! Never stop asking “What would happen if…..”

    The world’s most brilliant minds found a way not to lose that wonder. We can thank “What would happen if…” for electricity, cures for diseases, the telephone. Most relationships start out with one person thinking “What would happen if…”, too. Keep your sense of wonder. Hold it tight. Protect it. The biggest ideas and the best inventions of the world began with those amazing words.

  • JackiYo

    Happy birthday, little man! Never stop asking “What would happen if…..”

    The world’s most brilliant minds found a way not to lose that wonder. We can thank “What would happen if…” for electricity, cures for diseases, the telephone. Most relationships start out with one person thinking “What would happen if…”, too. Keep your sense of wonder. Hold it tight. Protect it. The biggest ideas and the best inventions of the world began with those amazing words.

  • Mary

    N must read a lot. Kids that read tend to have great imaginations. I love it. I love your family. Thank you for sharing your family time with us. N, I hope that this birthday is just the beginning of bigger and better birthdays to come. I hope you continue to keep up your creativity. Your wonderful imagination will put you though college one day. I can see you writing winning essays and easing your parents pockets when it is time for college. Happy Birthday N. Congratulations Mom and Dad for raising a wonderful, beautiful inquisitive child.

  • Mary

    N must read a lot. Kids that read tend to have great imaginations. I love it. I love your family. Thank you for sharing your family time with us. N, I hope that this birthday is just the beginning of bigger and better birthdays to come. I hope you continue to keep up your creativity. Your wonderful imagination will put you though college one day. I can see you writing winning essays and easing your parents pockets when it is time for college. Happy Birthday N. Congratulations Mom and Dad for raising a wonderful, beautiful inquisitive child.

  • D Rox

    Happy Birthday, little man! Inquisitive minds become great minds….
    Ask, seek, and learn all you can about anything and everythingl. It will open up the world to you. :-)

  • D Rox

    Happy Birthday, little man! Inquisitive minds become great minds….
    Ask, seek, and learn all you can about anything and everythingl. It will open up the world to you. :-)

  • http://www.carmasez.com carma

    Happy Birthday to your ever curious little guy….I am stunned, though, that you didn’t wait the additional 2 years ;-)

  • http://www.carmasez.com carma

    Happy Birthday to your ever curious little guy….I am stunned, though, that you didn’t wait the additional 2 years ;-)

  • Tyrone M.

    Happy birthday! Never stop asking questions.

  • Tyrone M.

    Happy birthday! Never stop asking questions.

  • DivafromSC

    Wishing your son a Happy Birthday! I pray he enjoys his day!

  • DivafromSC

    Wishing your son a Happy Birthday! I pray he enjoys his day!

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