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Wade in The Water

baptismMy 8-year-old daughter, Nee, was recently baptized. She decided to be a Christian during summer Vacation Bible School and informed her mother and me that she wanted to be baptized. When Nee let us know about her decision, K and I sat with her to discuss the importance of her choice. We also wanted make sure that she had made the decision without any prompting or pressure from her teachers and/or friends.

While we work daily to instill biblical values in our children, we also teach them that they have free will to make their own spiritual decisions. Excessive pressure from us could have the opposite effect. I know this point is true because I have experienced it in my own life.

While my sister and many of the other kids at our church were baptized shortly after their ninth birthday, I was not baptized until I was 18 years old. Each Sunday, I felt tremendous pressure to walk down the aisle when the pastor extended the invitation. I dreaded that point in the service because my mother would gently nudge me and point to the altar. I would discreetly move out of her reach and pretend to ignore her.

Eventually, my refusal to “join church” became an act of defiance. Although I had no choice in the matter when it came to attending church, I had absolute control over my decision to become a Christian. The battle between my soul and my flesh waged for many years. It wasn’t until an assistant pastor, whom I looked up to as a mentor, preached a stirring sermon that I finally relinquished my defiant spirit. If my life depended on it, I could not recall the topic of his sermon. All I can recall is that while he spoke, it seemed as if everyone else in the congregation vanished and he was speaking only to me.

When I stood up to walk to the altar, my mother wept and the entire congregation rejoiced. I even shed a few tears myself. It was as if I were the prodigal son who had finally returned home.

After that outpouring of feelings, the actual baptism was an emotional letdown. My family, the pastor, and a few people from church attended the ceremony (because our church was so small, we had to a larger church’s baptismal pool). Everyone sang “Wade In the Water,” the pastor said a few words and then dunked me in the pool. Later that day, I went to hang out at the mall with a couple of my friends.

At our current church, baptisms are a huge occasion. Once a month, several people are baptized during the regular worship service and once a quarter, we hold a special Baptism service. Each baptismal candidate must attend a special class (there are separate classes for children and adults). I attended the class with Nee because it was important that I was there, as her father, to shepherd her through this crucial time in her life.

On the day of the baptism, you could feel the excitement in the air as we got dressed for church. Both sets of Nee’s grandparents, as well as a slew of friends and family were present to witness the ceremony.

As Nee stepped into the pool (she was relieved that the water was warm), my heart was filled with fatherly pride. K stood backstage boo-hooing, overwhelmed with emotion.

We all met at our house to celebrate with a feast of chicken and waffles. Unfortunately, I had to leave early to catch a flight to Poland, but before I left, I let my daughter know that I was proud of her. Even more, I was pleased that she and I were now brother and sister in Christ.

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Question: What religious ceremonies/rituals have your children experienced.

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  • http://beckym5.blogspot.com becky

    Our church sounds a lot like your church. There are special classes and it’s a big deal. I’m so excited about my girls making this decision in their lives. It’s truly awesome. Congrats to Nee on taking this big step in her spiritual journey. I too remember my baptism and it was definitely a special day for me.

  • http://beckym5.blogspot.com becky

    Our church sounds a lot like your church. There are special classes and it’s a big deal. I’m so excited about my girls making this decision in their lives. It’s truly awesome. Congrats to Nee on taking this big step in her spiritual journey. I too remember my baptism and it was definitely a special day for me.

  • http://www.ICompleteMeBlog.com Felicia – I Complete Me

    I so know what you mean about being pressured. At my old church it was such a big thing and you had to do it or else it seems. My mom never wanted me to do it until I could comprehend what was going on. I’m glad she made that choice for me and didn’t force me. As for my children, when there was altar call one morning, my 13 year old went up. He squeezed my hand and I asked him if he just did that. He said yes and I asked him if he’s sure he wanted to go up there, he said yes. When I reflect back on it, that has been the only decision he’s made without us having to ask him to hurry up and make a decision. My husband said he squeezed his hand before but he ignored it and figured he didn’t know what he was doing. We were extremely happy.

  • http://www.ICompleteMeBlog.com Felicia – I Complete Me

    I so know what you mean about being pressured. At my old church it was such a big thing and you had to do it or else it seems. My mom never wanted me to do it until I could comprehend what was going on. I’m glad she made that choice for me and didn’t force me. As for my children, when there was altar call one morning, my 13 year old went up. He squeezed my hand and I asked him if he just did that. He said yes and I asked him if he’s sure he wanted to go up there, he said yes. When I reflect back on it, that has been the only decision he’s made without us having to ask him to hurry up and make a decision. My husband said he squeezed his hand before but he ignored it and figured he didn’t know what he was doing. We were extremely happy.

  • http://www.quiskaeya.com Quiskaeya

    What a lovely, lovely post. Neither of my children have made personal decisions for a ritual in our Christian faith. However, both have been christened. On the walls are plaques representing the christenings, that tell of the date, church location and meaning of their names. My 7 year old one ask me why he was christened and it opened up a great opportunity to share about my Christian faith.

    BTW- I had a good laugh when I read the post below because I was discussing something very similar on my blog.

  • http://www.quiskaeya.com Quiskaeya

    What a lovely, lovely post. Neither of my children have made personal decisions for a ritual in our Christian faith. However, both have been christened. On the walls are plaques representing the christenings, that tell of the date, church location and meaning of their names. My 7 year old one ask me why he was christened and it opened up a great opportunity to share about my Christian faith.

    BTW- I had a good laugh when I read the post below because I was discussing something very similar on my blog.

  • http://www.realmendriveminivans.com PJ Mullen

    What a great story. It must be even greater for you because she chose to be baptized on her own. Obviously she has had guidance from the way you and your wife have been raising her, but still there is a lot to be said for the maturity of her decision. We had our son baptized at 6 months at the church we attend with all the normal fanfare of a Lutheran service. Parents, godparents, the pristine white suit. Obviously my son is way too young to understand, let along make his own decisions, but I feel it is my job to guide him and allow him to find his own path, spiritually speaking. I grew up Catholic and spent 8 years as an altar boy, but like you, I wasn’t given a choice about going to church. When I was out of my own I got away from it all only to return a few years before I got married and when nothing seemed to be going right in my life. Safe travels to you.

  • http://www.realmendriveminivans.com PJ Mullen

    What a great story. It must be even greater for you because she chose to be baptized on her own. Obviously she has had guidance from the way you and your wife have been raising her, but still there is a lot to be said for the maturity of her decision. We had our son baptized at 6 months at the church we attend with all the normal fanfare of a Lutheran service. Parents, godparents, the pristine white suit. Obviously my son is way too young to understand, let along make his own decisions, but I feel it is my job to guide him and allow him to find his own path, spiritually speaking. I grew up Catholic and spent 8 years as an altar boy, but like you, I wasn’t given a choice about going to church. When I was out of my own I got away from it all only to return a few years before I got married and when nothing seemed to be going right in my life. Safe travels to you.

  • http://myboyandme.blogspot.com Madeline

    How wonderful! What an important decision for her to make. Sounds like y’all have done a great job as shepherds and as parents. Congratulations and blessings to you and to Nee.

  • http://myboyandme.blogspot.com Madeline

    How wonderful! What an important decision for her to make. Sounds like y’all have done a great job as shepherds and as parents. Congratulations and blessings to you and to Nee.

  • http://www.aginginwonder.com Cheryl B

    There’s nothing like seeing your children make wise decisions independent of you — especially when they’re decisions that affect their souls. For us, it was not only their baptisms — the earliest was at 15 years, the latest at 25 years old — but their marriages.

    The two of ours who are married chose partners that share their faith. I thank God often for providing them with spouses that will help them continue in their walk with Him.

    Thanks for sharing this very personal experience.

  • http://www.aginginwonder.com Cheryl B

    There’s nothing like seeing your children make wise decisions independent of you — especially when they’re decisions that affect their souls. For us, it was not only their baptisms — the earliest was at 15 years, the latest at 25 years old — but their marriages.

    The two of ours who are married chose partners that share their faith. I thank God often for providing them with spouses that will help them continue in their walk with Him.

    Thanks for sharing this very personal experience.

  • http://daddydan.net Daddy Dan

    That’s great!

    I wasn’t baptized until I was 32 years old, when I joined my wife’s church. I know what you mean about being pressured. I used to go to a church camp with my best friend’s church as a kid. The camp counselors would try to pressure us into getting baptized by saying we’d be going to hell if we didn’t. I’d come home in tears telling my Mom and Dad that we were all going to hell.

  • http://daddydan.net Daddy Dan

    That’s great!

    I wasn’t baptized until I was 32 years old, when I joined my wife’s church. I know what you mean about being pressured. I used to go to a church camp with my best friend’s church as a kid. The camp counselors would try to pressure us into getting baptized by saying we’d be going to hell if we didn’t. I’d come home in tears telling my Mom and Dad that we were all going to hell.

  • http://www.askwifey.blogspot.com Wifey

    How beautiful. Kudos to you for learning from your childhood and allowing your daughter to reap the benefits.

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey

  • http://www.askwifey.blogspot.com Wifey

    How beautiful. Kudos to you for learning from your childhood and allowing your daughter to reap the benefits.

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey

  • Glen

    Good stuff Fred.

  • Glen

    Good stuff Fred.

  • http://www.integratedmother.com Michele

    Beautiful. My husband and I share the belief that our children should choose baptism when they are ready. Kudos to supporting your daughter in making a big choice like this; it makes such a positive difference.

  • http://www.integratedmother.com Michele

    Beautiful. My husband and I share the belief that our children should choose baptism when they are ready. Kudos to supporting your daughter in making a big choice like this; it makes such a positive difference.

  • http://www.africanamericanmom.blogspot.com African American Mom

    This is such a sweet story! Reminds me of my own baptism.

  • http://www.africanamericanmom.blogspot.com African American Mom

    This is such a sweet story! Reminds me of my own baptism.

  • http://being-michaels-daddy.blogspot.com Tom

    How wonderful! Another soul saved, another child running to Jesus. You’re a great dad – an inspiration.

  • http://being-michaels-daddy.blogspot.com Tom

    How wonderful! Another soul saved, another child running to Jesus. You’re a great dad – an inspiration.

  • http://www.shawnann.org Shawn Ann

    WOW! Let me start by saying I am not a religious person at all. That is great that you let your children choose their own religion, I wish more were like you. We have not baptized our son, as most in our families do with their children when they are babies and as I was as a child. I am a forced catholic, I say forced because my mother is Catholic and my father is Lutheran and because my mother wanted to be married in a Catholic church my father was forced (I say forced because it was to please my mother) to give up his religious beliefs when it came time to baptize his children, and in the end we were baptized as Catholics. In the end, unfortunately my parents marriage didn’t last and I am stuck a Catholic until I decide what I believe.

    Anyway, congratulations to you and y our family and Nee for choosing which way she wanted to go with religion!

  • http://www.shawnann.org Shawn Ann

    WOW! Let me start by saying I am not a religious person at all. That is great that you let your children choose their own religion, I wish more were like you. We have not baptized our son, as most in our families do with their children when they are babies and as I was as a child. I am a forced catholic, I say forced because my mother is Catholic and my father is Lutheran and because my mother wanted to be married in a Catholic church my father was forced (I say forced because it was to please my mother) to give up his religious beliefs when it came time to baptize his children, and in the end we were baptized as Catholics. In the end, unfortunately my parents marriage didn’t last and I am stuck a Catholic until I decide what I believe.

    Anyway, congratulations to you and y our family and Nee for choosing which way she wanted to go with religion!

  • http://www.latonyarichardson.blogspot.com LaTonya

    Our family celebrates Baptism with a feast and family celebration. It’s worthy of a grand celebration, and a father sharing that with his daughter is even more special.

  • http://www.latonyarichardson.blogspot.com LaTonya

    Our family celebrates Baptism with a feast and family celebration. It’s worthy of a grand celebration, and a father sharing that with his daughter is even more special.

  • http://agsmom.blogspot.com/ Sherea

    What an awesome Dad you are! I am particularly impressed with how you handled this very important decision ins such a young girl’s life. I was not brought up to believe in any particular faith and was encouraged to make my own decisions on such matters. Neither my husband nor myself are Christian or particularly religious or devout to any faith. Myself being more spiritually educated however, I am teaching as much as I know about all faiths to our son and exposing him to what the world has to offer. My dearest friend and her family are devoutly Christian and we have taken our son to church with them on his request from time to time. The important lesson is faith cannot be forced on anyone… it is a very personal matter for each individual no matter their age. Good for you on encouraging your daughter to come to her own decision without the pressure of outside influences and blessings to you all!!

  • http://agsmom.blogspot.com/ Sherea

    What an awesome Dad you are! I am particularly impressed with how you handled this very important decision ins such a young girl’s life. I was not brought up to believe in any particular faith and was encouraged to make my own decisions on such matters. Neither my husband nor myself are Christian or particularly religious or devout to any faith. Myself being more spiritually educated however, I am teaching as much as I know about all faiths to our son and exposing him to what the world has to offer. My dearest friend and her family are devoutly Christian and we have taken our son to church with them on his request from time to time. The important lesson is faith cannot be forced on anyone… it is a very personal matter for each individual no matter their age. Good for you on encouraging your daughter to come to her own decision without the pressure of outside influences and blessings to you all!!

  • http://www.halfpastkissintime.com Mrs4444

    Please give your daughter my congratulations. We’re Catholic, and my kids have gone through all of the appropriate sacraments except First Confession (which I don’t feel is necessary.) I love the closeness that our faith as a family has brought us.

  • http://www.halfpastkissintime.com Mrs4444

    Please give your daughter my congratulations. We’re Catholic, and my kids have gone through all of the appropriate sacraments except First Confession (which I don’t feel is necessary.) I love the closeness that our faith as a family has brought us.

  • Chance

    Congratulations on your daughter’s decision. I have a younger brother and I often pray that he gets saved. Like you, I don’t put pressure on him, I just answer the questions that he has. I think that is the best approach. At my church, my Pastor prays for young kids because he says that he wants the decision for them to come to Christ to be their own. Again, congratulations.

  • Chance

    Congratulations on your daughter’s decision. I have a younger brother and I often pray that he gets saved. Like you, I don’t put pressure on him, I just answer the questions that he has. I think that is the best approach. At my church, my Pastor prays for young kids because he says that he wants the decision for them to come to Christ to be their own. Again, congratulations.

  • Mj

    i love how you add that you are now ‘brother and sister in christ’. i never thought of it that way…but its so true. my parents are my siblings in christ

  • Mj

    i love how you add that you are now ‘brother and sister in christ’. i never thought of it that way…but its so true. my parents are my siblings in christ

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