The other day, my son, N, was looking a little distraught. My wife, KayEm, asked him what was wrong.
“A girl at my school said I was ugly.”
“Don’t pay any attention to what that girl said,” K responded. “She was just being mean. Do you think you’re ugly?
“Of course not,” he said. “I’m the most handsome 5-year ever.”
Judging by the way girls respond to him, you’d be inclined to believe him.
I took N to school one day and as soon as we walked into his classroom, all of the girls screamed, “Good morning, N!” and rushed to help him with his coat and backpack. The teacher told me that this display was a daily occurrence.
Girls are constantly kissing on him, chasing him, and fighting over him (yes, you read that right). Other parents tell my wife and I how their daughters go on and on about N at home. He inhabits their thoughts dreams.
But one little girl seems to have risen above the pack and captured his heart. Her name is Emma. My wife first noticed his affection for Emma while waiting in the carpool line. N is usually bouncing all over the place and yelling out of the window to his friends. On that particular day, he was quietly ducking behind the seats and secretly peeking through the window. My wife asked him what he was doing.
“Nothing,” he replied.
“Then who are you looking at?”
“I’m looking at my friend Emma. I see her in her minivan.”
“Who is Emma?”
“Just a girl at my school.”
“Why are you hiding?” “No reason. I’m just looking at Emma.”
When Emma exited the van, N jumped up and waved and darted into school behind her.
Later that evening, KayEm told me that I needed to talk to my son (he always becomes my son when she disapproves of his behavior) about his relationship with Emma.
After dinner, I asked N about Emma. To my surprise, he replied, “I fell in love with her.”
“Why did you fall in love with her?
“I don’t know. I just did. She makes my stomach feel funny.”
“Do you think she is pretty?” I asked.
“Yes,” N replied with starry eyes.
Before we could continue this conversation, my 7-year old daughter, Nee, interjected.
“N,” she said with a stern voice. “You are too young to fall in love. You’re not even in kindergarten yet. You can’t have a girlfriend.”
After Nee’s thorough tongue lashing, N sat perplexed and looking to me for some direction. I sent Nee away so N and I could talk man-to-man.
I recalled my first crush. I was also five when I fell in love with Keisha, my next door neighbor. She was older and walked me to school every morning. I couldn’t wait to go to school and have Keisha hold my hand. I told N, how seeing her each day made my stomach feel funny, too. I let him know that it was okay to like a girl and that his feelings were normal. At his age, I know that his “falling in love” is nothing more than a simple crush. I have already taught him to respect girls and to always treat them kindly. But my words will be meaningless unless I model that behavior in my relationship with his mother. It is my job to show him what true love looks like.
In the meantime, I’m going to have to guard my son from your daughters. It seems as if they cannot resist his charms.
Stay Strong,
Questions: Has you child experienced his/her first love? Who was your first love?
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{ 31 comments }
1. Way to go on having a little heart breaker already. Sounds like you are going to have your hands full come puberty.
2. What is that porceline guy doing to that porceline woman??
@New-Dad-Blog
Thanks for pointing out that porcelain guy’s inappropriate behavior with that porcelain woman. The problem has been rectified.
Great story! “First loves” are always amazing.
How adorable. My girls are 12 & 14 and the 12 year old pretty much does not like boys for the moment. The 14 year old has had her crushes over the years. Her dad says no dating until AFTER you are married lol!
I think teaching him by the example of how you treat his mom is absolutely the right thing to do. He will learn to treat woment the right way. Sounds like he will have plenty of opportunities.
Ah to be young again
Thanks for sharing this heartwarming, and scary story. My little girl is only 2 and a half, and already flirting AAAAAAAARGH!
Oh this is the cutest story. I remember my first crush. We were both in kindergarden and our mothers were friends. He would hold my hand when we walked and I was so sad when he moved away.
Dear Mocha Dad,
As someone who had absolutely no romantic interest in anyone under the age of 30 until I reached the ripe old age of 12, I find it difficult to accept 5-year-old puppy love. However, this story is just so cute I had to Stumble it. Best wishes to you and your family, especially Mr. Irresistible.
I love that you are aware of the importance of your role in teaching your son how to treat women. I wish more men really understood how powerful they are in the lives of their sons (and daughters.) I thank God every day that my husband is a conscious dad, too. Our kids are living proof that it pays off.
It’s amazing that girls at that age really pickup on the “gentleman” nature that some boys have. You’ve obviously done an awesome job in preparing N to be a little gentleman. Good luck in the future (you’re going to need it. lol)
Now that’s a delicious story. My 8 year old hasn’t shown signs of a crush yet. He’s in that – girls are icky – phase. When it does happen, I hope we handle it with similar aplomb.
TOO cute! I so heart N! (And you for lighting his path and showing him the way–what a lucky boy to have a Dad like you!)
Mocha Dad-
It’s been a couple of weeks since I started reading your blog, and I am throroughly enjoying it. I appreciate your perspective.
Our 4 year old has not had a “crush” per se, but she does matter-of-factly state she has a husband (our friend’s 8 year old son). And yes, they have tried to kiss which was successfully intercepted by me and several of her aunties.
The “husband and wife” have given me a few good posts!
Very nice, thoughtful post. I’m sure N will enjoy reading about your perspective on this topic, many years down the road. It’s easy to see why the young ladies have all fallen for him. It goes without saying that you are to be commended for being such a strong role-model.
Man, I love how you are so aware of your responsibility to show the example of what love is. Very cool. Little romeo so young and so sought after, man I thought I was in trouble with daughters…
very cute story. i think i can handle the 5yr old love a lil better than if my girls start really getting into boys. stepson changes gfs like dirty underwear, 12 yr old daughter likes boys but not enough to kiss or anything yet, 10 yr old daughter will just think they’re cute and not much else. i think i’m safe for a lil while w the girls lol
I love your response of being an example to your son! Amen.
It appears that K and I have something in common. My son becomes “your son” when a fatherly input is very much required with my sons. lol My son has been going through this same situation this year (he is 7). All the girls in his class seem to be attracted to him like a magnet. I thought it was because he plays incredibly well with boys and girls alike. He really has no preference. However, when I was called at work and told that 2 1st graders were fighting over him b/c they wanted to be his “girlfriend”, a few rules had to be drawn immediately. Is it me, or are kids getting puppy love syndrome earlier? Some of these little girls seem a bit fast to me.
GREAT story. Ahhh the first loves…
uhhhhhh it gets worse as they get older. THIS IS NOT A PHASE….lol.
You need to buy him a good stick. LOL. Just make it a baseball bat.
My 6 year old son has had several girls that he’s decided he’s going to “marry”. It usually lasts a few weeks, then he’s on to the next one after they have a few “marital disagreements”. Talk about short attention span. I think what makes me a little bit envious is that he’s WAY more savy socially then I ever was.
I feel like I’m intruding on Man World here… but I’m glad I found your site. My husband likes your posts. Your son is too cute and yes you will probably have to get your number unlisted come 2nd grade! These things are seeming to start younger and younger these days aren’t they? Whatever happened to “Ewww! Girls/Boys have cooties!” I think it’s all the hormones in the chocolate milk…
My best, Lynn
http://www.safebeauty.blogspot.com
My 8-yr old boy tells me he thinks girls are gross. I simply tell him, “One day, son. One day.”
What a great story. I love that you are modeling true love for your son. Watch out girls! Here comes N!
With this story, you just reminded me of my first crush in kindergarten that I had totally forgotten about. Thanks for that, those are fun memories!
Aww, I love it! I think my first crush was around that time. Kindergarten or 1st grade. His name was Terry! Ha. And, my son becomes “your son” to my husband when he does something wrong, too.
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey
Very sweet story and a great example of a father’s wisdom.
My oldest (at the age of 5) decided to profess his love and express just how beautiful he felt a certain little girl at our church is. She then promptly proceeded to make a fist and punch him right in the stomach(not terribly hard, it hurt his ego more than his gut apparently). He’s learned to reel back on his romantic musings ever since. We talked with him about it afterwards- but secretly I was grateful for her reaction (not for the physicality of it but for her absolutely stopping him in his tracks). Childhood friends are find but I do not find child boyfriend/girlfriend to be appropriate at all.
Well I can’t blame the little girls. Look at him!!! He’s adorable. He’s already got me with the dimple and those sexy eyes. Ok, let me stop before you think I’m weird but my son goes through the same thing. Tell him to just enjoy it and go with it and consider himself blessed
Great job to you and mom.
BTW, thanks for stopping by.
you mean to tell me I’mma have to start doin this type of explainin to my child at 5?!?!?! I am so freaked out…good post, nice parenting…thanks for the nightmares I’ll be having tonight…jd
He is precious!! I’m having the same problems w/my son and a set of twin girls from the other kindergarten class. He’s in love with them. I wonder if he loves both of them because he can’t tell them apart? Anyway…so cute!!
Wow! He’s sure got a way with the ladies– and so young!! Look out in the years to come
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