10 Signs Your Children Are Brats

brat No child is born a brat, but they are prone to bratty behavior. Even my kids regress into brats periodically. For those parents who are unsure if your children are brats, here are 10 signs to look for:

They resort to crying or yelling when they want something.
They throw themselves on floor and won’t get up.
They constantly throw tantrums or even hit you when you punish them.
They ignore you when you ask a question.
They are rude to other adults and even to other children.
They refuse to share with other children.
They are show-offs and are constantly trying to one-up their peers to be the center of attention.
They always want whatever everyone else has. Once they have it, they want something new.
They keep a messy room and never help out around the house despite your pleas for them to do so.
They refuse to go to bed.

If your kids exhibit any or all of these behaviors, they might be brats. Don’t fret because there is hope for their bratty behavior and it starts with you.

Here are a few tips from my personal experience that will help curb brattiness:

Firmly discipline children when they show disrespect – It is important to teach your children that disrespect will not be tolerated. They should be punished immediately and firmly when they disrespect you or other adults.
Develop consistent routines – Children desire order in their lives and they look to their parents to establish this order. Parents must set strict schedules for bedtime, homework, etc. and stick to them.
Teach them to be grateful and humble – Brattiness is a symptom of selfishness. When kids learn the importance of serving others, they are more likely to be thankful for the things they have and understand that the world exists beyond themselves.
Resist the urge to indulge their every whim – As parents, we want to give our children nice things, but does your 8-year old really need an iPhone? Don’t buy them everything they want. Make them earn some things.
Spend quality time with your children – Sometimes bratty behavior is a cry for attention. Show your children that they are important by giving them your time.
Compliment your child when he/she does the right thing – Praise works wonders with children. Make sure the praise is sincere, though. Children know when they are being patronized.

If you apply these suggestions, your brats will become angels in no time.

Stay Strong,

Question: What tips do you have to deal with spoiled children?

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Tagged as: brat, tantrum

http://8792nuthouseplace.blogspot.com Nicole

Hi and thanks for stopping by my blog. I was just reading about your sons crush. How sweet is that! I think it is harmless and it could be worse, he could be beating the girls up or something!
http://8792nuthouseplace.blogspot.com Nicole

Hi and thanks for stopping by my blog. I was just reading about your sons crush. How sweet is that! I think it is harmless and it could be worse, he could be beating the girls up or something!
http://www.resplendentlife.wordpress.com Saph

Preach Mocha Dad!
http://www.resplendentlife.wordpress.com Saph

Preach Mocha Dad!
http://therealginger.com Ginger

Great advice. I think we as a society are entirely too “me focused” and your comments regarding disrespect and being grateful and humble are of the utmost importance. I almost had to break out the Joyce Meyer video for my son the other day when he complained about not having any food in the house! He’s 20.

I have to add spare the rod, spoil the child! I’m not talking beat down, but a little smack on the butt will get a little one’s attention with a certain quickness.
http://therealginger.com Ginger

Great advice. I think we as a society are entirely too “me focused” and your comments regarding disrespect and being grateful and humble are of the utmost importance. I almost had to break out the Joyce Meyer video for my son the other day when he complained about not having any food in the house! He’s 20.

I have to add spare the rod, spoil the child! I’m not talking beat down, but a little smack on the butt will get a little one’s attention with a certain quickness.
http://www.Halushki.com Jozet at Halushki

First, I think that “bratty” depends on the age. A two-year-old not sharing is developmentally appropriate. It should still, of course, be dealt with to teach the proper behavior, but I have far more patience when it’s a toddler having trouble learning to share than when it’s a 7 year old. Or a 15 year old.

Or a young child who has trouble verbalizing, who can’t use words yet – and with other people’s kids, I’m not going to judge right away because I don’t know if that child has a learning disability, or if the kids’ dog died that morning – I’ll move them to an out-of-the-way spot to allow the tantrum. I try my hardest to prevent tantrums (keep children well-rested, well-fed, and not push too long and too hard with new experiences) but once a tantrum is in full bloom (for a toddler or younger), it’s just get them away from other people and let them melt down. Again, for an older child, I’ll take a more firm hand in the matter. Although, the same rules apply for not wearing kids thin and then expecting perfect behavior.

My advice:

1. Get kids out and about into social situations with other people and adults as much as possible and in as small “bites” as possible.

2. Always go into a new situation well rested.

3. Talk about expectations BEFORE the situation. Paint the positive picture of what you want to see happen (as opposed to “don’t do this, don’t do that” tell the child what you DO want to happen.)

4. End on a good note.

Finally, one of the biggest problems I see is people praising kids for being “smart” or “good” or “fast”, etc. This is an almost meaningless ego feeder. Instead, when a kid does something you like or approve of, give them meaningful positive feedback:

1. Tell them that you could see/appreciate how hard they worked.

2. Give them adjectives to describe themselves. “I saw you help Sarah on the swing. You are a good friend. You are conscientious,” or “You didn’t give up even when you knew you weren’t going to win. You are courageous/tenacious!”
http://www.Halushki.com Jozet at Halushki

First, I think that “bratty” depends on the age. A two-year-old not sharing is developmentally appropriate. It should still, of course, be dealt with to teach the proper behavior, but I have far more patience when it’s a toddler having trouble learning to share than when it’s a 7 year old. Or a 15 year old.

Or a young child who has trouble verbalizing, who can’t use words yet – and with other people’s kids, I’m not going to judge right away because I don’t know if that child has a learning disability, or if the kids’ dog died that morning – I’ll move them to an out-of-the-way spot to allow the tantrum. I try my hardest to prevent tantrums (keep children well-rested, well-fed, and not push too long and too hard with new experiences) but once a tantrum is in full bloom (for a toddler or younger), it’s just get them away from other people and let them melt down. Again, for an older child, I’ll take a more firm hand in the matter. Although, the same rules apply for not wearing kids thin and then expecting perfect behavior.

My advice:

1. Get kids out and about into social situations with other people and adults as much as possible and in as small “bites” as possible.

2. Always go into a new situation well rested.

3. Talk about expectations BEFORE the situation. Paint the positive picture of what you want to see happen (as opposed to “don’t do this, don’t do that” tell the child what you DO want to happen.)

4. End on a good note.

Finally, one of the biggest problems I see is people praising kids for being “smart” or “good” or “fast”, etc. This is an almost meaningless ego feeder. Instead, when a kid does something you like or approve of, give them meaningful positive feedback:

1. Tell them that you could see/appreciate how hard they worked.

2. Give them adjectives to describe themselves. “I saw you help Sarah on the swing. You are a good friend. You are conscientious,” or “You didn’t give up even when you knew you weren’t going to win. You are courageous/tenacious!”
http://sixbelinskis.blogspot.com KathyB!

Oh Mocha Dad! I love you!! No, not like that but in the kindred spirit sense. My parenting philosophy is very similar to yours. I often feel as though I’m in the minority, with so many people giving in to every whim to get a moment’s peace… and then they ask why my kids are well behaved. AWESOME POST.

Pae

your dumb

http://sixbelinskis.blogspot.com KathyB!

Oh Mocha Dad! I love you!! No, not like that but in the kindred spirit sense. My parenting philosophy is very similar to yours. I often feel as though I’m in the minority, with so many people giving in to every whim to get a moment’s peace… and then they ask why my kids are well behaved. AWESOME POST.
http://www.christiecrowder.com Christie-A Work In Progress

Fantastic advice and what a great blog! You are the first Daddy blogger that has ever commented on my blog! Glad you stopped by and said hello!
http://www.christiecrowder.com Christie-A Work In Progress

Fantastic advice and what a great blog! You are the first Daddy blogger that has ever commented on my blog! Glad you stopped by and said hello!
http://www.mybrownbaby.blogspot.com MyBrownBaby

Great post, as usual, Mocha Dad! I loved your advice, and definitely agreed with Jozet. All-too-often, we as parents don’t recognize what’s developmentally normal, and we go nuts on the kids without acknowledging that sometimes, the kid is just acting like a kid. I think sometimes we might even go overboard in trying to “set them straight” when other parents are around, wondering why you’re “not handling that.” Teaching them–and yourself!–as they grow does wonders for curbing bratty behavior.
http://www.mybrownbaby.blogspot.com MyBrownBaby

Great post, as usual, Mocha Dad! I loved your advice, and definitely agreed with Jozet. All-too-often, we as parents don’t recognize what’s developmentally normal, and we go nuts on the kids without acknowledging that sometimes, the kid is just acting like a kid. I think sometimes we might even go overboard in trying to “set them straight” when other parents are around, wondering why you’re “not handling that.” Teaching them–and yourself!–as they grow does wonders for curbing bratty behavior.
http://childhoodasthma.wordpress.com/ Jennifer

So true! All kids are bratz sometimes but when it is taken care of by their parents it is usually short lived. I found your site from the Blog Party. The name mocha dad caught my eyes. Love it! Great site! http://childhoodasthma.wordpress.com/
http://childhoodasthma.wordpress.com/ Jennifer

So true! All kids are bratz sometimes but when it is taken care of by their parents it is usually short lived. I found your site from the Blog Party. The name mocha dad caught my eyes. Love it! Great site! http://childhoodasthma.wordpress.com/
http://www.momfiles.com Sheliza

a good old fashioned beatdown might not hurt either! lol! I’m old school in my parenting style
http://www.momfiles.com Sheliza

a good old fashioned beatdown might not hurt either! lol! I’m old school in my parenting style
http://dearmisterman.wordpress.com Mr. Man

More often than not, other people see the brattiness in other people’s kids before they see it in their own.
http://dearmisterman.wordpress.com Mr. Man

More often than not, other people see the brattiness in other people’s kids before they see it in their own.
http://www.beginnerbaby.com/blog Parenting Blog

This was an excellent post you wrote… glad I found it.
http://www.beginnerbaby.com/blog Parenting Blog

This was an excellent post you wrote… glad I found it.
http://twitter.com/bpchicken Ben

My parents used to simply use or threaten the use of corporal punishment to deal with my brattiness. But I don’t think it curbed me of the condition long term. In fact, I had a bratty moment last night. I won’t get into it.

When it comes to my daughters I take a longer term approach. I use reason and logic as much as I can. People look at me like I’m crazy. But my goal is to raise well-adjusted LADIES, not well-adjusted children per se. So my hope is they will have learned and absorbed the lessons by the time they’re entering adulthood rather than middle school.
http://twitter.com/bpchicken Ben

My parents used to simply use or threaten the use of corporal punishment to deal with my brattiness. But I don’t think it curbed me of the condition long term. In fact, I had a bratty moment last night. I won’t get into it.

When it comes to my daughters I take a longer term approach. I use reason and logic as much as I can. People look at me like I’m crazy. But my goal is to raise well-adjusted LADIES, not well-adjusted children per se. So my hope is they will have learned and absorbed the lessons by the time they’re entering adulthood rather than middle school.
http://www.quiskaeya.com Quiskaeya

I have a nephew who is a brat and EVERYONE knows this except for my sister. It pains me that she will let this super intelligent child waste his life away in selfish behaviour. If he’s not spared from it now, I shudder to imagine what he will be like as an adult.
http://www.quiskaeya.com Quiskaeya

I have a nephew who is a brat and EVERYONE knows this except for my sister. It pains me that she will let this super intelligent child waste his life away in selfish behaviour. If he’s not spared from it now, I shudder to imagine what he will be like as an adult.
http://lifeofanewdad.blogspot.com Otter

I wish every parent would read this and follow your suggestions. I see brats everywhere I go.
http://lifeofanewdad.blogspot.com Otter

I wish every parent would read this and follow your suggestions. I see brats everywhere I go.
http://joeprah.com Joe

Just as an FYI, I bookmarked this post at SU and Reddit because it rocks. Thanks for a great post and Happy FF!
http://joeprah.com Joe

Just as an FYI, I bookmarked this post at SU and Reddit because it rocks. Thanks for a great post and Happy FF!
http://ciarasramblingsandwhatnot.com ciara

sad part about some kids being brats are that it spills into their teen years, too. lot of teens expect everything to be handed to them and are getting so lazy. love your post…good tips. thx
http://ciarasramblingsandwhatnot.com ciara

sad part about some kids being brats are that it spills into their teen years, too. lot of teens expect everything to be handed to them and are getting so lazy. love your post…good tips. thx
http://mytwodaddies.blogspot.com Paul (mytwodaddies)

Nice one Mocha Dad!!! Great post!!!
http://mytwodaddies.blogspot.com Paul (mytwodaddies)

Nice one Mocha Dad!!! Great post!!!
Jason

awesome post. I totally agree that a lot of brattiness is a cry for attention.
Jason

awesome post. I totally agree that a lot of brattiness is a cry for attention.
http://www.lovetospare.com Michael

Nice post, Mocha Dad.

I find that kids typically mimic their parents’ behavior. So one of the best ways to avoid raising a brat, is to avoid acting like one. There are plenty of adults who exhibit some or all of the 10 behaviors you listed. It’s actually quite common in consumer economies.
http://www.lovetospare.com Michael

Nice post, Mocha Dad.

I find that kids typically mimic their parents’ behavior. So one of the best ways to avoid raising a brat, is to avoid acting like one. There are plenty of adults who exhibit some or all of the 10 behaviors you listed. It’s actually quite common in consumer economies.
http://comfortjoydesigns.blogspot.com/ Deborah

Hello! Poppin’ in from The Ultimate Blog Party…all the way from Queensland, Australia! G’Day! I hope you have time to visit my party soon.

I’m giving away Pink Champagne Shower Syrup from Jaqua Beauty…stop on over and enter! Ends April 8. Open to USA.

Ta!

I want to invite you to the Mommie Daze Virtual Baby Shower that I am hosting May 15 to June 8. This is an international even and there are prizes! Stop by my blog for all the details.
http://comfortjoydesigns.blogspot.com/ Deborah

Hello! Poppin’ in from The Ultimate Blog Party…all the way from Queensland, Australia! G’Day! I hope you have time to visit my party soon.

I’m giving away Pink Champagne Shower Syrup from Jaqua Beauty…stop on over and enter! Ends April 8. Open to USA.

Ta!

I want to invite you to the Mommie Daze Virtual Baby Shower that I am hosting May 15 to June 8. This is an international even and there are prizes! Stop by my blog for all the details.
http://www.halfpastkissintime.com Half-Past Kissin’ Time

Excellent advice; it all fits exactly with what I know and practice in my own home. Discipline is a gift we give our children; a gift that gives back
http://www.halfpastkissintime.com Half-Past Kissin’ Time

Excellent advice; it all fits exactly with what I know and practice in my own home. Discipline is a gift we give our children; a gift that gives back
http://www.makesmewannaholler.com E.Payne

Well said, sir. I agree so much I really don’t have anything more to say.
http://www.makesmewannaholler.com E.Payne

Well said, sir. I agree so much I really don’t have anything more to say.
http://www.momspeacebites.blogspot.com LaVender

My goodness! Reading this post did nothing but make me angry! I wish my child would THINK about doing any one of the ten (lol). I began to relax as I continued reading. Great post and thanks for sharing the REAL deal.
http://www.momspeacebites.blogspot.com LaVender

My goodness! Reading this post did nothing but make me angry! I wish my child would THINK about doing any one of the ten (lol). I began to relax as I continued reading. Great post and thanks for sharing the REAL deal.
http://tanyetta.com tanyetta

This is an EXCELLENT article. Thank you
http://tanyetta.com tanyetta

This is an EXCELLENT article. Thank you
http://http//www.babyhartle.com Boy Crazy

I am lovin’ the daddy perspective here! We are kindred spirits, my friend!
http://www.mochadad.com/2009/03/24/10-signs-your-children-are-brats/ Mike Mc

Dear Sir:

Recently, I broke up with a women that had a bratty daughter. The inability of her mother to set boundaries with her and the dad were big obstacles in our relationship. I didn’t want to end the relationship, but the lack of changes prompted the decision. My observations include the following:

Point 1: Her daughter had no boundaries and the mother often excused bad behavior. I noted that the daughter manipulated her and tried to do so with me. She hit her mother and scratched her one morning. Another incident was the daughter taking items from a neighbors house and minor items from mine. The mother seemed to excuse the behavior and not draw boundaries for the little girl. I did note that the ex-girlfriend still had to sleep with the 4 year old every night. She couldn’t sleep on her own. The 4 year old was extremely manipulative for her age. To be honest, I noted that other people commented on how out of control the kid seemed to be.

Point 2: The daughter stated to me one time: “My daddy said I don’t have to listen to you”. Another comment was “My daddy said you will leave”. While a common behavior, the dad was obviously getting at me through the child. I wasn’t overly bothered by the comment, but the child would scream for daddy when not getting her way with the mother. I wasn’t sure if the child’s behavioral problems were due to the dad or ex-girlfriend or both. It was obvious that the little girl’s behavior was out of control. She didn’t do anything her mother asked of her. It was always an ongoing battle.

Point 3: Buying presents is a constant theme with the child. Relatives and the grandmother would buy the little girl anything she wanted. My girlfriend’s brother was not easily fooled by her behavior. I remember one instance where he literally drug the kid through the mall when she complained about him going to the bathroom and interrupting her play time in the play area of the mall. My girlfriend’s brother just drug the kid into the bathroom and then drug her back to the mother shopping in Macy’s. The mother was seemingly being held hostage by the kid.

What do you think about the situation? I believe the child is clearly a brat and needs her butt worn out. Her dad is a big problem due to his own manipulative behavior. I have never seen a child that could manipulate quite that good.

Mike Mc