Stay At Home Dads Are Going to Hell

In my interaction with some dad bloggers, I discovered a video clip from Pastor John Hagee. He contends that all stay at home dads are bums and are going to hell.

But it seems as if Pastor Hagee in not alone in this belief. Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church has also been quite vocal about his disdain for men who stay at home to care for their kids. Pete Janelle wrote a great post about Pastor Driscoll at Dad Blogs.

Here’s my take on the topic. If a man will not work or care for his kids in any manner, then I believe that he deserves scorn and ridicule because of his refusal to Man Up. However, if he is at home rearing his children in a respectful manner, he should be commended. Different people have different gifts and talents. If a man has the gift of teaching and nurturing, there is no reason why his children shouldn’t be the main beneficiaries of their father’s talents.

Stay Strong,
Mocha Dad

Question: What do you think about men who stay at home with their children?

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tagged as: children, church, father, hell, john hagee, mark driscoll

http://twitter.com/thedigitalghost Adrian

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why so many in America are so fascinated, or feel so inclined to pass judgment upon, or to try to govern what others do with their lives. People have to do and will do what works for themselves and their families.
http://twitter.com/thedigitalghost Adrian

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why so many in America are so fascinated, or feel so inclined to pass judgment upon, or to try to govern what others do with their lives. People have to do and will do what works for themselves and their families.
http://www.lovebabz.blogspot.com lovebabz

Kudos for you for having good sense. Children need to be wanted, nurtured and cared for. Some of these ministers forget their role in people’s lives and they forget that God is the ultimate and sole judge of man.
http://www.lovebabz.blogspot.com lovebabz

Kudos for you for having good sense. Children need to be wanted, nurtured and cared for. Some of these ministers forget their role in people’s lives and they forget that God is the ultimate and sole judge of man.
http://joeprah.com Joe

I suppose I agree I totally agree with Adrian. Me thinks the lady does protest too much–if you know what I mean. Perhaps a case of over compensating for something because Pastor Mark screams over compensation.
http://joeprah.com Joe

I suppose I agree I totally agree with Adrian. Me thinks the lady does protest too much–if you know what I mean. Perhaps a case of over compensating for something because Pastor Mark screams over compensation.
http://www.momtomy5.blogspot.com UTmomof5

Adrian couldn’t have said it better! I ditto her comment
http://www.momtomy5.blogspot.com UTmomof5

Adrian couldn’t have said it better! I ditto her comment
http://www.21stcenturydad.com Elliott – 21st Century Dad

@Adrian: Yes indeed. What puzzles me more is the American desire to express individuality, but the ones who do are often shunned.

Fathers who stay home and are the primary caretaker is unusual, but I personally don’t find anything wrong with it.

If the parents decide that one parent will stay home, it only makes sense for the higher paid parent to stay in the workforce.
http://www.21stcenturydad.com Elliott – 21st Century Dad

@Adrian: Yes indeed. What puzzles me more is the American desire to express individuality, but the ones who do are often shunned.

Fathers who stay home and are the primary caretaker is unusual, but I personally don’t find anything wrong with it.

If the parents decide that one parent will stay home, it only makes sense for the higher paid parent to stay in the workforce.
http://www.memoirsofastayathomedad.com Ken

It is easy to judge someone when you haven’t walked in their shoes. As a former working man and a current stay at home dad I know that the important thing is the care of the child. I do know, from experience, that it is much more difficult to stay home with a child than it is to work! Obviously the Pastors do not understand this or they would not make it sound like Dads who stay home are lazy bums.

If it is more feasible for the woman to work and the man to stay home then it is a family’s decision. If it is best for them then what is the problem? At least they are home with their kids–look at all the single Moms with no spouse out there!

There are much more pressing issues facing families than whether Dads should stay home with their kids.

Ken
http://www.memoirsofastayathomedad.com
http://www.memoirsofastayathomedad.com Ken

It is easy to judge someone when you haven’t walked in their shoes. As a former working man and a current stay at home dad I know that the important thing is the care of the child. I do know, from experience, that it is much more difficult to stay home with a child than it is to work! Obviously the Pastors do not understand this or they would not make it sound like Dads who stay home are lazy bums.

If it is more feasible for the woman to work and the man to stay home then it is a family’s decision. If it is best for them then what is the problem? At least they are home with their kids–look at all the single Moms with no spouse out there!

There are much more pressing issues facing families than whether Dads should stay home with their kids.

Ken
http://www.memoirsofastayathomedad.com
http://www.milehighdad.com/ MileHighDad

The Mars Hill Church is very much into the do as I say, not as I do mentality.
I won’t go there again as I have posted much on his subject on other forum based sites.
MochaDad, very nice setup you got here.
-MileHighDad
http://bike.incoloradonow.com
Shameless self promotion sorry
http://www.milehighdad.com/ MileHighDad

The Mars Hill Church is very much into the do as I say, not as I do mentality.
I won’t go there again as I have posted much on his subject on other forum based sites.
MochaDad, very nice setup you got here.
-MileHighDad
http://bike.incoloradonow.com
Shameless self promotion sorry
http://knowyourteeth.blogspot.com/ The Dental Maven

I know several stay at home dads. I consider them to be parents whom I would love to emulate. Loving, caring and involved in their children’s lives. Yes, the mom’s work. Why is that considered wrong, and who was elected to be the judge?
http://knowyourteeth.blogspot.com/ The Dental Maven

I know several stay at home dads. I consider them to be parents whom I would love to emulate. Loving, caring and involved in their children’s lives. Yes, the mom’s work. Why is that considered wrong, and who was elected to be the judge?
http://enjoyceinglife.blogspot.com Enjoyceinglife

fantastic topic…why would anyone have a problem with a man taking care of his kids, if that what the family chooses is best for them…narrow minded religious “leaders” need Jesus. jd
http://enjoyceinglife.blogspot.com Enjoyceinglife

fantastic topic…why would anyone have a problem with a man taking care of his kids, if that what the family chooses is best for them…narrow minded religious “leaders” need Jesus. jd
http://www.execumama.blogspot.com Execumama

The roles within a family should be defined by the members of that family and what works best for their household, period! Get out of their proverbilal kool-aid, Pastors! Let’s commend men (and women) who take on the task of daring to raise their children with the hands-on approach. In many cases, it is less expensive to do that than to pay for a good daycare. I comment involved fathers everywhere, stay at home or not.
http://www.execumama.blogspot.com Execumama

The roles within a family should be defined by the members of that family and what works best for their household, period! Get out of their proverbilal kool-aid, Pastors! Let’s commend men (and women) who take on the task of daring to raise their children with the hands-on approach. In many cases, it is less expensive to do that than to pay for a good daycare. I comment involved fathers everywhere, stay at home or not.
http://www.makesmewannaholler.com E. Payne @ MakesMeWannaHoller

Interesting. It would seem from the video that although preaching to a young crowd they are hardliners. Taking such a hard line I believe is impractical in this day an age. Not because we’re all open to everything and going to hell, but because many women are now claiming their equal place in the workplace alongside men. And I do believe in the WORD wholeheartedly, but if a man is willing to take an active role in the lives of his children and not just make sure the money is there (granted the kids start looking a bit ridiculous in the areas of color choices and hairstyles but that can be worked out in any number of ways), then he is blessed as well. I don’t care what any two people with a large congregation have to say. In my case I’m not a stay at home dad, but my schedule is more flexible, so when push comes to shove I’m the one who stays home when they’re sick and so on. In the beginning my oldest was surprised to see me, but it gave me the perfect opportunity to bond with him (as he is my stepson) and make up for the time I wasn’t in his life.

I don’t really know what else to say about this.
http://www.makesmewannaholler.com E. Payne @ MakesMeWannaHoller

Interesting. It would seem from the video that although preaching to a young crowd they are hardliners. Taking such a hard line I believe is impractical in this day an age. Not because we’re all open to everything and going to hell, but because many women are now claiming their equal place in the workplace alongside men. And I do believe in the WORD wholeheartedly, but if a man is willing to take an active role in the lives of his children and not just make sure the money is there (granted the kids start looking a bit ridiculous in the areas of color choices and hairstyles but that can be worked out in any number of ways), then he is blessed as well. I don’t care what any two people with a large congregation have to say. In my case I’m not a stay at home dad, but my schedule is more flexible, so when push comes to shove I’m the one who stays home when they’re sick and so on. In the beginning my oldest was surprised to see me, but it gave me the perfect opportunity to bond with him (as he is my stepson) and make up for the time I wasn’t in his life.

I don’t really know what else to say about this.
http://www.askwifey.blogspot.com Wifey

I’m all for stay at home dad’s if that’s what works for their family. I wrote an article about that in Upscale magazine last summer and featured a friend of mine who stayed home with his two girls. He’s an AWESOME dad – with more patience than most moms I know. His family is thriving and I say more power to them – smiles!
http://www.askwifey.blogspot.com Wifey

I’m all for stay at home dad’s if that’s what works for their family. I wrote an article about that in Upscale magazine last summer and featured a friend of mine who stayed home with his two girls. He’s an AWESOME dad – with more patience than most moms I know. His family is thriving and I say more power to them – smiles!
http://www.cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com Renée aka Mekhismom

I think that it is great for Dads to take care of their children. Different households have different expectations. Would it work in my house? No. But I am very clear about that and I can’t see my husband doing it. Just not part of his make-up. I say kudos to those that are able to do it.
http://www.cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com Renée aka Mekhismom

I think that it is great for Dads to take care of their children. Different households have different expectations. Would it work in my house? No. But I am very clear about that and I can’t see my husband doing it. Just not part of his make-up. I say kudos to those that are able to do it.
Lynn

Oh wow, what is this guy thinking?! Such a shameless case of the blind leading the blind!
My husband and I were poised to do just that: have him stay at home or at least be the one who did most of the rearing while I was in school/work before my illness. I would have had the larger paycheck for a short period of time and given the nature of the job, it would have been a good set-up for us. We are still considering this type of a situation. Adrian is correct; if it works for a particular household, absolute kudos to them! My husband has had to be actively involved in our children’s lives and we are both grateful that he had to take over the role Mom and Dad for 3 years ( altho he is happy I am feeling better!).
Strength is found in those who can “buck the trend” and do what is right for them, not what is popular at the time.
Lynn

Oh wow, what is this guy thinking?! Such a shameless case of the blind leading the blind!
My husband and I were poised to do just that: have him stay at home or at least be the one who did most of the rearing while I was in school/work before my illness. I would have had the larger paycheck for a short period of time and given the nature of the job, it would have been a good set-up for us. We are still considering this type of a situation. Adrian is correct; if it works for a particular household, absolute kudos to them! My husband has had to be actively involved in our children’s lives and we are both grateful that he had to take over the role Mom and Dad for 3 years ( altho he is happy I am feeling better!).
Strength is found in those who can “buck the trend” and do what is right for them, not what is popular at the time.
http://www.quiskaeya.com Quiskaeya

Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. If they spend too much time out of the home trying to bring home the bacon, they get criticized for not taking their fatherly role seriously. So now you have fathers that actually want to be at home with their children and they are criticized for this??? Unbelievable!
http://www.quiskaeya.com Quiskaeya

Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. If they spend too much time out of the home trying to bring home the bacon, they get criticized for not taking their fatherly role seriously. So now you have fathers that actually want to be at home with their children and they are criticized for this??? Unbelievable!
http://www.mommyniri.com/2009/03/meet-paul-a-stay-at-home-dad/ Ramesh

It takes a real man to stay at home and do the right thing. It hard and not easy given that many folks consider it un-manly. Never mind … read Paul’s interview on Mommy Niri http://www.mommyniri.com/2009/03/meet-paul-a-stay-at-home-dad/ .
http://www.mommyniri.com/2009/03/meet-paul-a-stay-at-home-dad/ Ramesh

It takes a real man to stay at home and do the right thing. It hard and not easy given that many folks consider it un-manly. Never mind … read Paul’s interview on Mommy Niri http://www.mommyniri.com/2009/03/meet-paul-a-stay-at-home-dad/ .
http://tanyetta.com tanyetta

My husband is a better mom than I could ever aspire to be any day of the week!

If given the opportunity for my husband to stay home and we could afford to do so, we would jump at the chance in a heartbeat.

Where is it written that dads aren’t capable of taking care of the children? Please! This is just crazy!

I have to say, the pastor hagee clip was hilarious. I wonder if anyone in the audience was like WTHECK!!!!!!! LOL I know I would have!!!
http://tanyetta.com tanyetta

My husband is a better mom than I could ever aspire to be any day of the week!

If given the opportunity for my husband to stay home and we could afford to do so, we would jump at the chance in a heartbeat.

Where is it written that dads aren’t capable of taking care of the children? Please! This is just crazy!

I have to say, the pastor hagee clip was hilarious. I wonder if anyone in the audience was like WTHECK!!!!!!! LOL I know I would have!!!
http://www.bigpieceofchicken.com Ben @ Big Piece of Chicken

The belief that stay-at-home dads are the scorn of the earth is thinking that deprives children of their best interests. It is also this backward thinking that would have my daughters barefoot and pregnant, beholding to some man because that’s the “traditional” role of the women. In my view, stay-at-home dads and go-work-moms are brave because they have to deal with bs thinking like presented by these pastors.

Let’s just hope they are ignored and the stay-at-home dads keep doing the business of parenting to the best of their abilities. It’s what their kids need.
http://www.bigpieceofchicken.com Ben @ Big Piece of Chicken

The belief that stay-at-home dads are the scorn of the earth is thinking that deprives children of their best interests. It is also this backward thinking that would have my daughters barefoot and pregnant, beholding to some man because that’s the “traditional” role of the women. In my view, stay-at-home dads and go-work-moms are brave because they have to deal with bs thinking like presented by these pastors.

Let’s just hope they are ignored and the stay-at-home dads keep doing the business of parenting to the best of their abilities. It’s what their kids need.
http://banpreachergreed.tripod.com Patricia

If a woman has a much higher-paying job than her husband and the couple has several kids (which would cost an arm and a leg for professional day care), and they can make it on her salary alone, then why on earth shouldn’t he take care of his own children instead of farming his family out for strangers? Does Hagee think caregivers (whether male or female) just sit on their duff all day watching TV? When was the last time Hagee sat up with a sick child or even did his own dishes? These rich preachers holler and scream that it’s a sin for a man to care for their own kids, then demand tithes and offerings on top of people paying for child care. Hagee should yell at the man in the mirror, if he’s looking for sin, after divorcing his first faithful wife and running off with a younger, prettier woman. It takes a BIG man to admit his own sins are bigger than somebody else’s!
http://banpreachergreed.tripod.com Patricia

If a woman has a much higher-paying job than her husband and the couple has several kids (which would cost an arm and a leg for professional day care), and they can make it on her salary alone, then why on earth shouldn’t he take care of his own children instead of farming his family out for strangers? Does Hagee think caregivers (whether male or female) just sit on their duff all day watching TV? When was the last time Hagee sat up with a sick child or even did his own dishes? These rich preachers holler and scream that it’s a sin for a man to care for their own kids, then demand tithes and offerings on top of people paying for child care. Hagee should yell at the man in the mirror, if he’s looking for sin, after divorcing his first faithful wife and running off with a younger, prettier woman. It takes a BIG man to admit his own sins are bigger than somebody else’s!